Toomanytears, I'm so sorry I didn't check back in sooner. This is all so awful. I'm absolutely heartbroken for you. You have every right to wonder why this is all happening to you- it's obvious you're not just sitting around letting life happen and blaming it all on everyone else. You've been dealt a terrible hand that you don't deserve. I admire your spirit. It's so important that you stay as positive as possible (easy for me to say, huh?).
What does the lawyer say about this? Doe she have a plan for you? The good news about having such a lazy, cowardly husband is that maybe if you play your cards right he won't fight you on it.
Its especially upsetting you've lost your father-in-law because it seems he was your one hope for getting to your husband, but it seems getting a reaction or any kind of interaction from you husband is a lost cause as it is.
I wish I had some words of wisdom that would help you out of this hell you're in, but I don't. I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and praying for you. My hope is that a divorce will be your first step towards feeling empowered, taking your life by the horns and fighting this cancer into the ground. Please keep updating us.
Thanks KMDillon......yes it has not been fun. I actually spoke with my father-in-law the day before he was killed. He had called me to check on me. He told me he was so sorry that his son was acting like this and was so disappointed in his behavior. He had figured out that he was cheating on me too, he told me. I told his dad that I wish he had been a man and talked with me face to face rather than being a coward and sneaking out. His dad agreed and said he certainly raised him better than this and felt like he was into some things that he shouldn't be. He was a sweet man and I will miss him. I am angry that my husband didn't allow me to come to his funeral.
My lawyer told me that my being abandoned and being disabled, fighting cancer put me in a great position with the judge and he would probably force husband to provide for me. She wants me to wait a bit and if it appeared husband wouldn't file that we would. I have taken half the money and put into my seperate account and she instructed me to pay bills with his in the joint account. Just before it gets empty, take my name off account. Unfortunately there is nothing I can do about my car though and if it's not paid, he loses truck and I lose car. She said to be prepared for that possibility but we would ask for a replacement vehicle as part of divorce settlement. Of course she said if I could get in touch with him or he finally contacts me to inform him. Fat chance of that happening. He changed his cell number and I have no idea where he is now.
So.....I'm biding time right now. I do know I don't want this sorry excuse of a man back! My situation is different from most here though and my husband has killed any ounce of love I ever had for him. Karma is going to be a $%#@* for him!
This is so great that you have a specific plan. Your lawyer is right that your awful situation will definitely help you win over any judge. I hope you continue to feel empowered by all of this. It's great to hear you say you don't want him back- you deserve so much more! Keep updating!
Yes KMDillon, I deserve better. I've put up with his immaturity, his alcoholism, mental and verbal abuse, all his lies and now cheating. Honestly, I would be better off alone for the rest of my life than tolerate him for one more second. He has issues that I don't want to deal with anymore.
As you've probably heard this before, "business is fixing to pick up" because he has a stack of bills that I have not and will not pay. He will blow a gasket when he loses his property and his beloved motorcycle! I am soooooo going to enjoy watching it happen. Gonna say sorry bud, but if you thought for one second that I'd see that your bills got paid while you were out having affair with OW, you need a reality check. This is how irresponsible and yet arrogant he is. He thinks that he can go play and I will just forgive him and take him back! Not this time!!!!! I know this sounds mean but if you guys knew how he was really you'd be cheering me on. I've taken and taken and taken abuse from him but it ENDS NOW!!!!!
I AM cheering you on, girl! I'm so proud of you. And, honestly, I will enjoy hearing about him losing all his precious things that you were supposed to "gratefully" take care of for him!
Indeed......I made his credit excellent and I can take it to the bottom of pile too..........DUE TO HIS STUPIDITY!!!! He is a piece of work thinking that I will take of all this....FOOL describes him better! I have yet to here from him or see him.
so glad to read what you have written Toomanytears.. you are a strong lady and will come out of this just fine.. With an attitude like yours you are bound and determined to live a better life.. You dont need a loser like him in your life.. From our conversations you are a very special Lady and deserve to be happy with someone who appreciates all that you have to offer... it his loss... remember that as you move forward with your positive attitude....
Keep in touch and if you need anything you let me know...
Amen to I don't need this loser...that is all he is. I am glad that I have so many nice people here to support me. Skin you also deserve the best life possible. I am glad that you are starting to move forward with things. We can both look back now and realize what we had wasn't making us happy at all. Once all of this is behind us, we'll soon find that life really is better. Thanks for being a friend. I hope only the best for you.
I am tolerating the meds well. I was so afraid they would make me feel awful with all the throwing up, etc. So far, no adverse effects. I am grateful indeed!
My worthless husband cleaned out another 500.00 chunk of change out of our joint account on Saturday morning. Still haven't heard one word from him. I expect I will when he realizes I haven't paid his bills and the bank now owns his land!
My worthless husband cleaned out another 500.00 chunk of change out of our joint account on Saturday morning. Still haven't heard one word from him. I expect I will when he realizes I haven't paid his bills and the bank now owns his land!
Way to GO!!! Toomanytears... look after yourself and f-him... its his mess to clean up you take care of yours... Wishing you the best....
Thanks Skin...I found out today that he is working with his cousin and making money under the table. I called and informed my lawyer. He's an SOB! I told you guys he would do this!
Thanks Skin...I found out today that he is working with his cousin and making money under the table. I called and informed my lawyer. He's an SOB! I told you guys he would do this!
Your welcome... good job calling your attorney let him know everything... take him to the cleaners TMT..
Having a bum day today. Can't help feeling the depression today. I guess I am thinking about the future and wondering how I will pay for all sorts of stuff that will happen eventually such as replacing appliances, new roof on house, a new vehicle when I need one, etc. let alone the basics. It's hard to not have those things on my mind. Even getting the lawn mowed is a major issue for me now. I can't help being scared of my future and today is the day I guess I am asking "why me?"
I wanted to check in with you and see how things were going.. reading your post you sound really bummed and I understand completely how you feel... There will be those days that your thoughts wonder to the future and all the what ifs...
Here is something to think about...
You cant change the past but you can sure ruin today worrying about tomorrow....
When thoughts of the future and all the maybe's and what ifs start getting to you remember that you can only control today... try and put thoughts like where they belong.. out of your mind...
Keep praying and remember that better days are ahead for you... So how have you been feeling physically ? hopefully the meds are still working..
Re: Need advice?
so glad to read what you have written Toomanytears.. you are a strong lady and will come out of this just fine.. With an attitude like yours you are bound and determined to live a better life.. You dont need a loser like him in your life.. From our conversations you are a very special Lady and deserve to be happy with someone who appreciates all that you have to offer... it his loss... remember that as you move forward with your positive attitude....
