Ok so I read through every part of peoples comments and so forth and I have to say that I am soo sorry that you are going through all of this. My first peice of advice would be to stop calling him over and over again. I know that you probably need money and so forth, but he hasn't givin you any so the whole calling thing needs to stop. It probably makes him even more mad at you and not want to talk to you. He has no right of course to be like this, but dead beats like that will blame anybody and everybody for their behavior. Stop calling to inform him of his bills also. He knows he has bills there cuz he's prolly been paying them for a while so I don't think you need to document it. I say just throw him out of your life and don't talk to him or drive by his dads place or anything. If he calls, let the machine get it. Why should you have to be made to feel bad because of him anyway. I am telling you that you need to ignore the hell out of him, maybe it will make him wonder for a change what your up to. Either way, your not gaining anything by talking to him anyway. All you gain is the fact that you think he loves you even less because of how he makes you feel. Drop him like a bad habit girl. You sooo deserve it!!!
As far as calling him I've only contacted him regarding a letter from Social Security about his dad once and one other time because he had received a letter from unemployment. On those two times I did tell him I needed money. I figured he wouldn't call but he did return the call about the Social Security letter. For the most part of it, I have maintained NC. Upon the advice of my lawyer she told me to inform him I needed money and it was primarily to document the request. The only time I rode by his house was because it was on the way to where my friend needed to go and had asked me to ride with her.
Trust me, I've had very little contact with him since he left and it's fine with me. I have no desire to interact with him whatsoever. I'm ready to get this divorce over with because I have to concentrate on my health right now. He makes me sick!
Thanks Rhea, I appreciate your prayers. I didn't feel too well this weekend so I had to take it easy. The walls of this house were closing in on me though and I was in the dumps. Couldn't help sitting here and thinking about stuff. My yard hasn't been mowed in a month and it is really starting to look bad. I wish I were able to do it myself but know better than to try. Don't have the money right now to hire someone to do it either. It really makes me angry with my stbx because he knows I can't. This is such a worthless man. Right now TOW is seeing his best behavior and falling for his lines hook, line and sinker! She will soon find out what she's gotten herself involved with and honestly....SHE DESERVES IT! I can only sit and hope that God takes care of me and that my worthless STBX reaps what he has sown!!!!
As ususal, I've had no contact from stbx. Lots of late notices coming in the mail and now starting to receive phone calls. I tell them the truth and that I am sorry he isn't paying the bills. I gave them the number where he could be reached so I am assuming stbx is really chapped with me over that. Hate it! I talked with the bank where his vehicle is financed and there is nothing I can do about my vehicle being put up as collateral. They told me he was behind but know that I can't make his payments. Guess I will lose my only transportation soon. I keep wondering when Karma will kick in and bring him to his knees?
I am sorry to hear that your situation seems to be going nowhere.. Keep the faith that things will turn around for you.. You are in my thoughts and prayers... I sent you a PM.. check it and get back to me... How have you been feeling physically ? are you doing better ? keep me posted TMT... I want to know how your doing... God Bless You...
Thanks Skin and Rhea, I appreciate you guys! Well, our joint account had 51.53 in it and this morning it seems that my stbx used his debit card and it is now 3.53 in the red!!!! Isn't that lovely? Although I didn't want to, I called his cell and as usual he didn't answer, so I left a voice mail telling him he had over drafted the account. Told him I didn't have the money to make it right and because of his irresponsibility, I had not one dime to my name!!! I know he won't call, he never has, so here I sit with more worry piled on me! My disability check doesn't arrive until 7.3.09 so it will be a few days before I have money. Don't ask yourself folks how much worse things can get for you while going thru your marriages falling apart, because TRUST ME, it can get WORSE!!!!
As far as my health goes Skinman, I seem to be handling the medications well and for the most part doing okay. I've had a few days since the diagnosis where I didn't feel well but all in all, doing good. This past weekend was not a good one though....I was drained of energy and spent most of the weekend sleeping. By Monday I felt better.
I am going to call the bank this morning when it opens and talk with them about the overdraft. I'm pretty sure though there isn't much I can do about it as far as it affecting me too. This just sucks!!!!!
Tried to get my phone switched over into just my name today and they won't do it without stbx signing a transfer of service agreement first. Now it is going to cost me money out the wazoo because he won't sign it. The lady called him for me because he won't answer my calls and he said no. I don't even know this man anymore that I married? I know he deserves to burn in hell for treating a disabled woman with little income and no help this way!!! I can't even change any of the services to get the bill down some...like cutting call waiting, etc..
What a pain in the a$$, the stbx and the phone company.
Unfortunately it does suck much. I work for a major cellular company and yep gotta have permission from the main account holder to do a transfer of liability or else you're sh*t out of luck, no changes, can't take your phone number, nothing.
I'm sorry to hear this. Can you start your own line? See the stbx thinks he's screwing you, BUT he's really screwing himself, he's getting stuck w/another line he's got to pay for unless the contract is up, he can't cancel if the contract isn't up unless he wants to pay an early term fee.
Let him have it. Unless of course you're like me and you want to keep your number.
I'm really amazed at how much of an a$$ he's being I'm sorry HUGS!
Thanks Dark Angel for your words of encouragement....unfortunately he is worse than a deadbeat! You are right though, I've made it this far but now have run out of money so things are about to get really bad, but I will just have to deal. I will soon lose my vehicle that only liked 3 payments on and he put it up for collateral behind my back for a purchase on a truck he bought......which now he isn't making the notes on the truck. He's a SOB because this is my only transportation to my doctor appointments.
As far as the phone situation......this is our house phone. Our DSL is provided thru the phone company and the bill is for both. We had extras on the phone, like caller id, call waiting, etc. plus a plan that covered areas that are close by our town but without this plan, were long distance. It was helpful in the past before cell phones because most of my doctors were in these outlying, but like an hour or two away from my town. We should have already dropped it down to basic service when cell phones became popular but just didn't think about it. Now since I have very little money, I wanted to drop all the excess that I could to lower the bill. I unfortunately have service with a small independent phone company and they have their special little rules. Yes I could just apply for a new number but they require me to come in and pay a downpayment, pay for this, pay for that and it would be expensive and I don't have money to spare.....at the moment I have none! This is why the cheapest would be if he would just sign the transfer of service, change of name agreement and it wouldn't cost at all! I am really starting to literally HATE, HATE, HATE my stbx!!!!!! I wouldn't treat a dog as sorry as he is treating me!!!