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Going Through Divorce or Separation A new addition to our forums, a place to go for sharing and support for those going through divorce and separation.

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Old 06-20-2009, 09:59 PM   #76 (permalink)
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Default Re: Need advice?

That is horrible!!!!!!!!!!

Now is the phone serivce in his name only? You might be able to just find a new provider and forward the old bills to him. Check with a few different providers to see what they can do for you. They might be able to flop the initial charges onto your first months bill.

Seriously, if there is anything there in his name just drop it. Its his problem, dont make it yours. I think I read you were going to open your own bank acct as well. Is it done yet? I would be frightened to think of just what he is capable of doing. Protect yourself!

Stay strong.
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Old 06-22-2009, 02:13 PM   #77 (permalink)
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Yes, phone is in his name only. Unfortunately this independent phone company has a monopoly on this area owning all kinds of rights. They have been in service forever and grew quickly thus able to obtain/maintain these rights while ever expanding their areas. Once, Bell South put in a pay phone at the local Hardee's but they had to pay this independent company for the usage rights of their lines, etc.. The pay phone was uninstalled about 3 months later because of the charges, etc....too much of a pain in the butt for what it was worth to Bell South.

My only other options would be to go with getting my internet thru a satellite service like Wild Blue which is a bit expensive. I am checking on a bundle package with AT&T which is the only other option. I technically don't need the house phone since I have a cell phone but this company won't allow you to have just DSL without having a home phone. They are a pain in the behind...greedy, greedy! If I can swing getting DSL thru AT&T I will be good.

I have a seperate bank account that my SS Disability goes into by direct deposit. My disability income though is a drop in the bucket to what I made when I worked full time. It will be terribly difficult to struggle and pay the bills even with cutting everything I can possibly do without. I may have to even loose DSL which will kill me because the computer/internet is sometimes my only connection with the outside world due to the disability. I also use it to research like everyone else, especially things that have to do with my disbility. The health insurance is only good till October. I was on his so I could get my medicine with just a copay as opposed to full price. Several of my drugs are $300/month if paying full price. I am on medicare but when I lose this insurance because he won't go back to work with the pipeline, I will have to go and purchase a medicare supplement to cover what medicare doesn't pay for. Because I am under 65, I am screwed by insurance companies and forced to pay more than the above 65 folks. Before I got on his insurance to get the drug coverage, my supplement ran around 200 bucks a month. I'd also have to get Medicare Part D drug coverage which is a joke....it helps for about the first couple of months, then you go into the so-called "doughnut hole" where you are forced to pay full price. Of course I will never be able to pay full price so I will then have to go without medicine! The kicker of everything is that you have to be pure white trash poor to qualify for medicaid which would pay for everything, but because I own land and have a car that is not 12 years old, I won't qualify for medicaid! I won't even qualify for "food stamps" either! I will be like many others....one of those that falls the cracks of the system which makes me furious with our government. We give away millions in aid to other countries while there are citizens of our country that need help and when you are sick and alone, dealing with your illness whatever it is, you can't fight for change to our government's policies! This is a crying shame but our politicians don't care because they are getting kickbacks from drug companies, insurance companies, etc..

So, this is my demise people and married to an SOB that could care less if I drop dead, much less have a morsel of food to eat! He knows what will happen to me when I can't get my meds anymore but it is so much more important to shove me out of his mind and build a new life with the sorry tramp he has taken up with. He is immature and irresponsible and figures that his happiness matters more and doesn't understand how screwed up the system is....he is....bottom line....SELFISH and could care less. As long as I was healthy everything was fine but now, why should he have to put up with my disability....what a burden to him and he didn't sign up for this!!!!

It's very hard not to give up when you are all alone, sick and facing these kind of odds.
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Old 06-29-2009, 08:38 AM   #78 (permalink)
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Just an update:

Nothing has changed....he is still living with the tramp, I've been left behind and not given a second thought.....he hasn't initiated any contact, neither have I.....he's given me no money and I suppose he thinks I have a "money tree" growing in the back yard! I'm expecting the repo man any day now to take my vehicle....notices still arrive daily for debts he hasn't paid of which the one that effects me the most is the one he put my car up for collateral on. I'm unable to sleep at night anymore since I am now worrying about how to pay the basics (power, water, etc) since I have no money left and he sure as hell isn't bothered about giving me any. Life just sucks for me right now with no end in sight.
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Old 06-30-2009, 03:39 PM   #79 (permalink)
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Well today was my stbx's birthday. I called his cell phone to just say Happy Birthday and he has obviously changed the number. I guess he did that after our last conversation about a month ago. I gave it long thought before calling anyway so I guess I got his message loud and clear! It's also clear to me that this man deserves all the hate I feel for him now!
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Old 07-07-2009, 01:02 AM   #80 (permalink)
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Update:

Still no contact...he is still living with OW. Still hasn't called or given me any money, much less even begin to care about my well being. He still has some things here and I guess he really doesn't care if he gets them or not. It totally baffles me as to why he hasn't filed for divorce??? He surely doesn't want to be with me anymore and is done with this marriage. The idiot doesn't even consider that I don't have money for bills much less money to file for divorce and hiring a lawyer.
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Old 07-14-2009, 01:13 AM   #81 (permalink)
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Well it would seem that my husband finally decided to call me. He was being sort of nice but I knew he was only doing it because he wanted something. Turned out that he wanted to get some of his things after being gone for Apr 2, 2009. He went ahead and borrowed a trailer and called me assuming that it would be ok to come....also told me that he was let go by his cousin with whom he has been working, getting paid in cash under the table while drawing his unemployment benefits illegally.

He has now all of a sudden become concerned that the Harley be sold as opposed to ruining "our" credit. I told him that 3 months ago he had good credit, the bills were paid and even had money left over in the bank thanks to my management skills and they he had destroyed his credit along with our marriage by his actions and sorry buddy but I can't be sorry for you. I told him that I'd be free on tuesday but that I wasn't giving him a go ahead on taking anything from there. He had promised to come here weeks and weeks ago after his infidelity was out of the closet and I told him he owed me the truth at least. He never showed, wouldn't answer phone when I called, changed his number, etc., in addition of abandoning me knowing I was disabled. After bringing it up he agreed to meet Tuesday but I don't trust him....I think he will just come and get what he wants even though I asked him to bring back all the things he snuck out as it was marital property and we needed to split things fairly.

He told me he was trying to get a job 2 hrs away and it all makes sense now. He and new lady want to move there because he has destroyed his reputation here and before he goes, he wants to make sure that he has all his stuff. He doesn't sound sorry for one bit in breaking up our marriage and breaking my heart. Just wants to hurt me again and take advantage of me is what it seems.


What would u do folks? I don't want him to be able to get anything more from this home since he took the other items behind my back, sneaking them out prior to walking out of this marriage that day.

He has refinanced his truck and he now holds the title to my vehicle which I am convinced he will use to hold over my head to get what he wants. My lawyer is out of town working on a case so I'd like to get an opinion from all of you.

He is not to be trusted, hasn't bothered to call and check on me or how I was making it due to the fact I am disabled and for sure hasn't given me a dime since he left. He's only being nice because he wants something. What would you do?
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Old 07-22-2009, 11:53 AM   #82 (permalink)
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As predicted, stbx came to house first time since he left and wanted to get some more of his stuff. He didn't want to sit and talk but I told him that he at least owed that to me I thought after all he has done to hurt me by having the affair, plus the fact he knows the conditions I would be left in by a divorce due to my disability.

He was cold and arrogant but I did get to tell him exactly what I thought of him. He actually thought I should feel sorry for his being without a job now and I pretty much told him that since he wasn't concerned about my general welfare (financial, cancer treatment, etc.) that I thought he was reaping what he had sowed. I told him that was KARMA knocking on his door and he best get ready to lay in the bed he made for himself. He was a complete jerk and I made my feelings and position known the entire time he was trying to gather the items he wanted. I guess the truth was "hurting his little feelings" and he left without getting what he wanted which I thought was hilarious.

This man is before God the worst excuse of a human being I've ever known! I know now that he has no idea what LOVE really is and to think I have wasted almost 17 years of my life with someone that would be so selfish, uncaring and downright criminal in his behavior towards me. He knows full well what will become of me without his help due to my disability and he just can't be bothered. I can't believe I thought this man actually loved me and wonder how I could have judged this so wrong. I have come to believe that he just wishes I would drop dead so he won't be bothered with even having to go thru divorce proceedings.

I can't file right now because I would get nothing from him financially due to his not working and I am struggling to make even the basic bills. I've cut everything I can do without. I told him that day that I was flat broke after paying the basics and it would be 3 weeks before I could even afford groceries (when I got my disability check) and his answer to that was, "well, I can't either!"

I pray every night of my life for God to see me thru all this. I've never before faced such struggles and I'm trying to keep my faith....that's all I can do. It's hard to fight cancer and him too.
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Old 07-31-2009, 12:42 PM   #83 (permalink)
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Just an update, situation is the same. No contact with stbx and he still hasn't offered me a dime. Finances are getting to critical stage now for me. What little I had saved is almost gone.
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