07-07-2012, 06:01 AM
Join Date: Jul 2012
| | about to commence separation from wife
i'm not sure i am looking for any advice or pearls of wisdom as i am realistic enough to know that every scenario for married couples is different but i wanted to share my situation
my wife this week has asked me to leave and for us to separate.
there has been no infidelity by either myself or my wife but the marriage has been a struggle for a number of years now and the tension, explosive arguments is not healthy for either us or our 4 children.
my wife has been a constant source of support since we married and for the last 8 years we have been together but for a period of 4 years i took her, our partnership and family for granted
without needing to go into finite detail i had depression, a gambling addiction and anger management issues. these all hit the surface about 2 years ago and my wife, whilst angry and hurt, supported me through counselling to deal with my issues.
whilst, thankfully, i have managed to deal with these things, alot through my wifes support our relationship has deteriorated as she has not been able to deal with the lies, deceit and hurt that impacted on her and our children.
consequently any arguement recently (last 3 months) has degenerated into a full scale slanging match, her relaying everytime i've lied, hurt and disrespected her and for my part questioning her parenting, spitefullness and disrespect. it isn't at all nice for either or us or the children.
so there's some back ground, and now the wife wishes for a separation. she hasn't put me under any pressure to leave immediately, she would like for me to stay in the same village so there is as little impact on the children as possible.
she states, and i understand and believe her, that she has nothing more to give, she wants time and space from us as a couple to, avoid the destructive nature of our relationship and any negative effect on the children.
she has set no time scales, she is promising nothing insofar as hope for future but we both admit that we still love each other
i have no expectations but hope that in time we can discover the people we were that first fell in love but am realistic enough to know it is going to be a horribly difficult time for us both
obviously any advice, comment would be welcome