My guess is that several months ago, perhaps 4 or 5 she gave in and started hanging with the lowlifes again and that progressed to her drinking and possibly using again. Along with her hooking up with some guy in that group. Her actions, words etc are all classic cheater actions. Especially the claim about you being controlling and her fears you were watching
When she left the first time it was to be with the OM. He very well may have dumped her, or she may have caught him cheating in her. Either way, she ran back home. She didn't give up the group however and continued drinking and using and likely hooking up.
Given her history and current behavior she's likely back at the drugs which of course could mean loosing her job when they find out.
I would suggest hiring a PI if you could to dig up dirt on what she's up to and who she is doing it with. You need to know this stuff so you can protect your kids,
You should ask your attorney if drug testing can be a requirement. Posted via Mobile Device
If it was possible, have her followed and have her served at her friends house, or her biyfriends.
But work is good and effective.
Talk to your lawyer about a moral clause that will keep any bad influences around your kids.
have you changed the lock yet?
I still think you need to do some investigation, not knowing what she is doing is not the best way to let her have the kids for a day or even a sleep over some were in some drug den or something.
If there is another guy in her life you will want to know what your exposing your kids to during any type of visitation.
Another thing to get control of is the family money. If she's running with the drug crowd again she can burn through cash very fast. Posted via Mobile Device
@Shaggy, me and you are thinking along the same lines, That drug test is a great idea, just need to prove its needed, by documenting her curent life style.
Well I know for a fact she didn't cheat, it's literally impossible, now if she's seen this guy over the past week I have no idea. I'm not in financial position to hire a PI atm so it will just have to play its course. Keep in mind he tried to pick her up, I saw her fb convo with him before she knew I looked and she told him "I don't think you want that problem (me) and to think before you speak next time"
As far as the locks, I'm getting all the keys back and she's a great mom... Or was I don't know what to think anymore. As far as the other guy that she's talking to again, I've already stated that if he get involved I need to meet him before my kids do. She denys any romantic connection to him, and seeing as how she doesn't give a damn about my feelings anymore I don't see any point in her lying, although that remains to be seen.
She may think the grass is greener I suppose. People are always nice in the beginning lol. Difference with me was she knew what she was gettin because we were really good friends for 2 years first. Posted via Mobile Device
You tell us she *was* a great mother, then you finish with not knowing what she has become. whats concerning is you have no idea how far gone she really is. She will give you the lip service that tells you she still is a good mother, but behind closed door you aren't sure. That could be a dangerous position when it come to letting her have the kids, aspecially at night.
You may need to look for some support be it parent, siblings, and good friends, and get the information that will confirm her ablity to be a good parent when the kids are around her.
Even if you dont have the dough to hire a PI, you can at least do a back round chech on the poeple she is associating with. If these "friends" have a criminla history, it may be ground for supervised visitaion when it comes time to be around your kids.
I mean I'm kind of beating this point to death, but I personaly couldn't see letting my kids go see there mother when I don't even know were she sleeps at night.
she is not the person you married. she was a good mom. i have 3 kids, and good moms don't behave the way she does. don't put anything past her. if you can't afford a PI, then you and a friend follow her one day. you have to do whats best for you and your children.
Yeah, she *was* I guess the only thing I know is what was and not what is now... I know she's staying at her moms or at least that's what she tells me. I know for a fact that her friend (the girl) is an alcoholic/pill/pot head. I don't let them go willingly but, she's there mother and 9 times out of 10 in my city if push it, I may get the sh*t end of the stick. Judges aren't exactly fair here... Moms usually win, no matter what the case may be. It just kills me that she came so far and now she's allowing all these idiots to influence her behavior. I've given her chance after chance to come home and talk it out, I've only been ignored or met with aggression, tomorrow I'm taking the gloves off but as far as custody, I'm going to discuss that with my lawyer to get my options. Posted via Mobile Device
Ger toxic friends have got hold of her now and filled her head with all kinds a crap. She is making money now and now all the low lifes are coming out of the wood work to latch on to her...even her side of the family.
So now there alot more influences, be it bad ones at that, she is now in there control will they feed her with drugs and booze. Top that off with a new boyfriend that your wife has now an emotional connection to and she's gone.
Its not often a women will run off without the security of a emotional connection and secuity of affection so make no mistake you have been replaced.
I hope this answers some question you have?
Why does there have to be another person? Why can't it be spouses leave because they ask our men to change? Woman are vocal it's when she is quiet that the hurt has gone on so long. Why can't men give a call when they are late, or not hide the fact they went after work for a drink. And why if your wife tells you things are going bad why not go home after work and talk to her. Words are cheap. People have warnings things are bad if a spouse wakes up one day and the spouse is gone they should have been mindful to what the person was saying all along and validated them. A person can be a doormat for so long. We didn't have kids alone so why should we be the only one to care for them? I notice the changes in my husband because I am present and it hurts. I am seriously thinking of leaving and I have been very vocal this past year and still I am treated bad. It's not fair.
You are fighting this by filing for a D and having her served as soon as possible, so thats great. Now distance your self and show here *another* conseguence by showing that you will no longer be there for her, she is not your problem any more, and don't even think about being friends.
Now is the time to toughen up and show her the indifference she diserves...again another consequence. Start playing hard ball with a shark of a lawyer, and fight for full custody...again another consequence.
I know the kids need there mother, but right now her drug habit and life style are not good for the kids to see.
In time you can lighten up but only when she hits rock bottom that will make her turn the corner and be a better parent...this will take time but with more consequences the soon she may turn that corner.
I suggest you hire a PI and get here new life style documentedit will help you in court.
I understand you have a hard time in punishing the women you love, but with out consequences she will continue to be a toxic parent to your children...she needs consequences to show her she is not what she can be in the future as a ggod mother.
So these consequences are about you marriage now, it getting your kids mother back and it will take some time b/c the hold other/things have on her is strong.
A person doesn't need another person to leave. Yes, affairs happen but one day a person wakes up and starts believing that the words of change the other person has said are never going to happen. Words are cheap. Woman are vocal it's when she is quiet that you have to start worrying. Then you know something is a miss. Yes, it's great if a man can hold a steady job, but when you stop kissing your wife and holding her hand you break her. Ignoring the kids and never asking her about her day and she hears you la boa about work the marriage becomes one sided. I feel like I am being boxed in a marriage where hurt is all I get from lies and hiding things. So please don't just think there is another person because some people just kill that desire for the person they are hurting.
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Re: Wife is gone, for good. 
