foreverheartbroken

LOL!!

I still think you should "check in" to a gym. Bike riding will help you get into shape too.

Do you have any idea why you didn't take care of yourself (your health, your weight) in your marriage?

Dadwithtwolittlegirls

Lazy.. lazy on everything...

Fell into a pattern, got complacent... just figured it is what it is.

Now I know love is a full time job. You work at it everyday if you want it to be successful.

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Jason

foreverheartbroken

Did you and your wife have any "date nights"?

Dadwithtwolittlegirls

we were starting to again.. they were really nice nights out.

Should could have insisted on them too but didn't.. so I'm putting blame on her too.. not just me

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Jason

Dadwithtwolittlegirls

Now I just know my wife is gonna text tonight that she wants to see the girls.

I want her to not just show up.. I want her to plan the visits.

Is it ok for me to say " Not tonight I would like 2 days notice to see the girls"?

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Jason

foreverheartbroken

She wants to see the girls anytime she feels like it, without consulting with you, and she won't reply to you regarding child support or any money she can provide towards the children or ANY arrangements whatsoever? She expects you to pay for EVERYTHING for the kids now? And she also expects to be able to see them anytime she wants without talking to you at all? You shouldn't allow all this!

Dadwithtwolittlegirls

I don't think I am anymore.

What should I say.. I want some money before you see the kids? That is like blackmail.

You will not see the kids until we have a visitation schedule?

You will not see the kids until we discuss child support?

I don't know what to say.

All I know is if she asks to see them today I'm saying no because i want notice before hand?

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Jason

keko

"I already planned something else for them, from now on send your request's 2 days in advance."

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The 180

Dadwithtwolittlegirls

That works...

What if she sends a text back... what are they doing?

I'm thinking of not responding..I need to be a hard a$$ now I thinking

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Jason

foreverheartbroken

If she asks to see the kids tonight, you could simply tell her that you have a special evening planned together with them and leave it at that.

You could even go so far as to say, "If you'd like to join us in our family night you will be welcome to."

Dadwithtwolittlegirls

I don't know about having her with us... I think she was so uncomfortable on Sunday that she would not want to be around me..

So far...4 days NC... that is a record...

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Jason

foreverheartbroken

Any time she asks to see the girls, you'll already have plans with them and she's welcome to join in as a family. Be more of a PRESENCE than you were last Sunday too. Don't just sit back and let her have her time with them.

Regarding child support, tell her: "On a separate note, I will need $ ____ from you for their school supplies, back to school clothes, and the grocery bill for this week was $____. Tell her you also need assistance with the electricity bill (room/board for the children = child support).

Dadwithtwolittlegirls

She has already stated to me that she will not pay for anything to do with the house.. including groceries bills etc.

She says she has her own bills to pay and i have to give her time to make more money.

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Jason

foreverheartbroken

That's the point. So you won't be "blackmailing" her so to speak, nor are you keeping her from seeing her children.

Dadwithtwolittlegirls

I think not letting her see the kids at all would be worse then having her tag along.

Right now she has been able to see the kids whenever she wants with no consequences of her behavior.

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Jason