I don't know if she read the letter. She responded from another e-mail account she has, not the one I sent the letter too.
She sent me a link to a job posting since I was thinking about getting back into the HR field after running our restaurant for the past year and a half.
"wasn't sure if you are still trying to find another job, thought you might be interested in this......"
that's fine. for your sanities sake, maybe just pretend it was lost in cyber space!
read up on nc and 180. these stratagies will not only help you heal and be the best you that you can be for yourself and your girls, but it also is probably the best move you can make if you desire R with your wife. this forum helps alot too. come here to vent, scream, cry, rant. say all the things you want to say to her here instead. it feels good to get it all out.
that's fine. from this point on, don't contact her unless you absolutely have to (if it's about the kids or business). do not respond to her unless you have to. so, if she texts "how are you doing? did you hear anything from the job you applied for? can i pick up the girls at 3 this friday?" wait 15 minutes and text her "yes, 3 works for us." keep it simple. when she chose to leave, she gave up her right to know how/what you are doing.
i know it seems like the opposite of what your heart tells you to do! just try it for a week or 2 and see what happens.
Have you read mma2012 thread "6+yrs and wife doesnt love me" these 2 threads sound very simular and you may get some good perspectives and what to expect.
Why would she be hurting? She got what she wanted and has suffered no consequences for her ripping a family apart.
She knows you will always bethere for her no matter what, so she has nothing to lose by treating you and the kids this way.
As you sit on your hands your wife continues like nothing is wrong.
Until you take the drastic steps.....well lets just say give your self some time it will become clear enough on what you need to do.
IMHO this nice guy approach is getting you no were.
She said before she left that she wanted me to man up... to take care of paying the bills, to get a decent job that pays better, to get this house fixed up, to be a man of my word.
In on my way to all of those things. I wonder is she is sitting back to seeing if I will actually become this man.
She said I worried about money too much.. and like in the past if I just was positive it would all work out. Actually it usually did work out in the money department if we were in a real pickle.
I do agree that I did need a kick in the pants to get things done..but she gave me a kick in the nuts instead.
Her sending me the job posting seems to me that she wants to see if I will take the advice and go with it. To become that better man.
She said before she left that she wanted me to man up... to take care of paying the bills, to get a decent job that pays better, to get this house fixed up, to be a man of my word.
In on my way to all of those things. I wonder is she is sitting back to seeing if I will actually become this man.
She said I worried about money too much.. and like in the past if I just was positive it would all work out. Actually it usually did work out in the money department if we were in a real pickle.
I do agree that I did need a kick in the pants to get things done..but she gave me a kick in the nuts instead.
Her sending me the job posting seems to me that she wants to see if I will take the advice and go with it. To become that better man.
This is rich. Maybe your wife can start acting like a woman instead of walking out on her kids. I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that your wife never really communicated her feelings all that well to you about what she truly expected out of you. Also, I'm going to guess that your wife is far from perfect herself and that she too could have done some work on herself to become a better wife and woman than she is now. What I'm getting at is that instead of taking the adult approach and you two getting serious about being married and COMMUNICATING with each other, she elected to act alike a spoiled little girl and run away from her problems. I would not take 100% ownership of this at all. She easily needs to woman up to take 50% of the blame for your marriage being in trouble right now.
All most likely true Plan 9, but Sadwithtwolittlegirls shouldn't waste time worry about woulda/coulda/shoulda while he is waiting for his wife to "woman up"...
he has got to let that all go, be a fantastic dad, and work on getting his own head on straight...seems like he has a good start on it already...
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I firmly believe that love is a game of control, or maybe true love is a game of giving up control...and if both give up control, then neither have it but the shared one do...
bad love contols us like pawns on a chess board...
All most likely true Plan 9, but Sadwithtwolittlegirls shouldn't waste time worry about woulda/coulda/shoulda while he is waiting for his wife to "woman up"...
he has got to let that all go, be a fantastic dad, and work on getting his own head on straight...seems like he has a good start on it already...
Take care Sadwithtwolittlegirls!!!
i don't think the walk away's are always just selfish jerks out having a great time. some of them are going through a real mind f*ck of there own. a mini break down if you will. does this make their actions acceptable? of course not. become the best you you can be. tell your wife to take this time to work on herself. sometimes a little time and space can help heal. getting angry and playing the blame game will get you no where.
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Re: My Wife Left Last Tuesday 
