Dadwithtwolittlegirls

The thoughts of what my wife is telling the children while I'm here at work is killing me....

This is the first time she has seen them since we left them at camp before she left..

keko

Dude she checked out of the marriage and was a coward to not even approach you to announce it. You need to get your act together and get over her.

Dadwithtwolittlegirls

That was harsh....

lulubelle

it's different now that she left. please trust us. most of ur have done the same thing you're doing. "i'll show him/her how much i love them and need them! i'll totally win them back with my honesty and love!"

no, you will make her run in the opposite direction.

right now she wants space to figure out what she wants. a sad heartbroken man is not attractive. a strong confident man is. right now you're acting like you can't live without her, but you can. you don't share any major vital organs. show her that you love and respect her, but don't need her to survive. remember back in high school, or back in the bar days, it was the confident outgoing guys who alway got the girl? be that guy! do you ever remember seeing the sad, broken, insecure, guy getting all the chicks? nope.

when she sees you happy, secure, confident, not needy, you will peak her interest. weight loss/muscle gain, new hair, clothes, attitude. what ever you have to do to turn yourself around.

Dadwithtwolittlegirls

I guess your right.... just in the denial stage of grief still..

I have done quite a few of the things she said would never get done around the house already...and I know my youngest will be telling her that..

Also my youngest will be telling her all about how her grandma is gonna redecorate her bedroom with new paint and curtains..

That is something she wouldn't see coming miles away.

lulubelle

good! that's more like it! when i first started my 180, i was doing it purely to get chad back. if this mindset helps you get started, so be it. eventually, you wil start feeling better about yourself and you will realize these changes are for you, not her.
you might also want to make a list of things you want to do when you don't have the kids. these can be the most difficult times, so make sure you stay busy.

Dadwithtwolittlegirls

I don't expect to have much time without the kids.. she will have to work around my schedule.. I'm standing strong on that.

I like that she asked if she could see the kids.. not told me..

She knows she left them behind and I'm in charge of that part.

My friends are telling me I'm crazy for leaving them with her unsupervised as she might take them. I know she has a room with a friend at work and that person does not like children...

I have to believe she is not an evil woman.. just a woman that misses her girls and not her husband..

lulubelle

do you have any reason to believe she would take the girls or do anything to hurt you or anything that is not in their best interest?

Dadwithtwolittlegirls

I don't think so..

There are a few reasons I can figure that she doesn't want me there:

She might be afraid I will beg her to come home

She is guilty about leaving

She just can't face me yet since she was a coward to leave a note and take off..

All of the above

DailyGrind

Dude -she is feeling very guilty. She took the cowards way, and now doesn't want to face any consequences. Do NOT show weekness. She needs to doubt her decision...and knowing you are pining for her only gives her strength. Trust us on this. Stay strong...even if you have to fake it. She needs to see strength, not weakness.

Good luck!

Dadwithtwolittlegirls

Very true..

keko

Also start reading these books right away,

No More Mr. Nice Guy

Married Man Sex Life | How to have the marriage you thought you were going to have. By which I mean doing it like rabbits.

Dadwithtwolittlegirls

Well she only stayed with the kids for 45 minutes

She took lots of pictures. For her phone or facebook or whatever...

I guess she was surprised at some of the things I got accomplished since she have been gone and that my mom was going to redo the kids rooms..

I didn't ask too much about their talk because it was their special time with mom and I thought that would be rude.

She made some plans with my oldest.. I hope she knows that she will have to ask me first.

Dadwithtwolittlegirls

Well chalk one up for the way to go list.

I actually made the kids some chicken and not KD..

I asked how my oldest ( Sarah ) would like it.. she responded " how mommy makes it.."

I didn't know what to say...

Then she comes back ten minutes later and said she texted her mom and she said BBQ tastes better.

When Sarah found out all I had was charcoal, she wanted it fried in a pan....

Weird night...

Dadwithtwolittlegirls

My youngest daughter has been weird tonight.

I sat her in my lap and told her... " You know daddy is not leaving you" she said year and gave me a big hug... she really wanted me to rock her tonight.

I think she is pretty worked up by not having mommy here...