Dadwithtwolittlegirls

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Dadwithtwolittlegirls

Went shopping with my girls for groceries for the first time ever without my wife... I felt lost.. that sucked.
My oldest (12) went through the apples like her mother taught her and picked out the good ones... And kept telling the youngest to stop asking for junk food cause we are on a budget... God love my oldest..

It was an empty feeling activity though..kinda lonely without her there..
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happyman64

Sad,
You are. Getting good advice so far.
And Keko is right. Your wife is a walk away wife and that is not easy to deal with.

No more emails or texts to your wife. None. Only if it is about the kids or bills.

Since she wants to be on her own, she needs to pay her share.

You need to see a lawyer. You really should file or legal separation and child support. Your wife needs to feel reality, consequences for her actions.

A woman that walks away from her children is unnatural/broken. She seriously needs counselling. But she has to want to do it.

You cannot force her.

Now sad, she changed her FB status to single. That should set off your alarm bells my man. Because that means in her mind she is no longer married to you.

It would not surprise me if she started dating or is dating or will soon date. That is what Keko was referring to.

She is out of the house and you cannot control her.

But you can legally separate. I believe in Canada that gives you a year before you can D. It also sends your wife a message that you do not approve of her behavior. It alo shows you will not tolerate being her backup plan.

Now buck up. Get rid of that debt. Get in shape. Work hard and love your girls like you are their only parent. Because right now you are.

And if she comes a crying or sends a nasty email. Respond like her, with a posting for a full time job for her!

Hang tough buddy.

HM64
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Dadwithtwolittlegirls

Thanks..

happyman64

Sad.

No need to thank any of us. We have all been in your shoes one way or another. And we know. You love your wife. But love is not enough to keep a marriage together.

And if your wife respected you she would not have just packed and walked out the door. That is not just a blow to you but your children.

And I do not care how depressed she is. She could have opened up to you and you two could have worked out a plan together. That is what adults do.

She walked out like a coward.

Has anyone suggested you read " no more mr nice guy". You can download it off the web for free.

Stay strong and remember. You might not have been perfect. No one is. But you are not to blame for her walking out the door.
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Dadwithtwolittlegirls

i will get a copy of that to read for sure... good e-read book..

Dadwithtwolittlegirls

Last week I paid bills from our joint account. She sent me a message to put it back and not to touch HER paycheck to pay for house bills since she does not live the anymore

Looks like she got herself a new bank account as she transferred her paycheck out right away into the other account.

I'm beside myself this morning..

foreverheartbroken

OK, gotcha.

Dadwithtwolittlegirls

I went a saw a lawyer this morning. He told me to get all of the essential accounts frozen.

Things like my Visa and Credit Line and make my mortgage account deposit only..

He also told me to change the locks on the Pizzeria and house..

foreverheartbroken

And these are things you're going to do, right? Are you in a mindset now to go forth 100% to protect yourself, your finances, your business, and your girls and screw how she feels or what she wants? Is your Pizzeria still going okay without her involvement?

Dadwithtwolittlegirls

I called my bank manager today and just waiting for her call. I'm gonna do what he says...he is the professional..

I have been running the pizzeria for the last year and a half. She wanted to do something else so I took it over and she went and got a job. It was almost like she had this planned for a year now..

But hindsight is always 20.20.. I thought she got the job to help us catchup with the bills....

happyman64

Sad,

Listen to your lawyer.

Protect your assets and your family.

Did you review your visiting schedule and child support with yur lawyer?

Your spouse is a runaway wife. I do not think she is being truthful about all her actions.

But for now protect yourself and the kids.

HM64

Dadwithtwolittlegirls

I just talked to her friend Lynda. I guess my wife didn't like the note I sent her yesterday spelling out the visitation. I guess she said it was too "hard handed".

What the heck did she want me to do...

I guess she contradicted herself saying it was over but said other things to make her think it isn't.

Lynda told her that we need to sit down and talk this out together..

Also.. she didn't leave because of someone else. She just left.

happyman64

No. "Hard Handed" is when you pack your things and walk out on your husband/kids and only leave a note. That is hard handed.

You are just being a responsible, mature adult protecting your children from having the rug pulled out from under your feet again.

And maybe she is telling the truth about no one else. I find it hard to believe but do recognize that some people actually do leave for other reasons.

She owes you those reasons. Most ppeople work out their problems in a marriage with their spouse.

If you are not the issue and she cannot care for her children she really needs to go and speak wtih a psychologist.

Do not take any BS from her.

This is your family and marriage you are fighting for.

And no matter what demand the truth.

Hm64

PS
Listen to your attorney. Start making your wife pay to support the kids at the minimum. And send her some job postings for full time positions. That works both ways my friend.

lulubelle

i'm sorry it has come to this. like others said, file for separation and do what you have to so you can take care of yourself and the kids.