Welcome! In time you will be wo happy you found yourself here. This forum continues to play a role in my ability to self-soothe, reflect and heal, and I hope it will do the same for you.
Without more details it is hard for us to get an idea of your future (not that we are fortune tellers...but these things do often follow scripts.) Your stbxw's (soon to be ex wife's) message certainly sounds positive. But before you get your hopes up, please make sure to observe her actions now, not her words. If she stops seeing her new guy, or wants to come home, or stalls the divorce (possibly, this one isn't as reliable a sign) or takes some other action, that will be a better indicator of her intentions.
As for you...if you are in contact, the best thing you can do is let her know covertly that you have made changes she asked for...what kind of communication do you have right now? Who left the marriage originally? Any other pertinent info you want to share? Are you doing mediation or court? Kids?
Definitely better not to string this new woman along. Starting a new relationship off on the wrong foot will only hurt you in the end. I think you know this, so consider this validation of your feelings on the matter. As a woman, I would prefer to be dumped because a man isn't over his wife than any other reason. It is ok to need more time, whether you get back together with your wife or not. Posted via Mobile Device