I'm a new member here, but i've been hanging out for a couple of months, reading everyone's threads and replies. I started out reading in the 'Infidelity' section, then the 'Thinking about Divorce' section and finally found my place in the 'Going thru a Divorce' section.
Here my very short version of my story: I've been married for 20 years. 4 children ages: 17 to 3. I found out about 3 months ago that he was having a PA with his high school sweetheart for about 8 months. She is married and I had contacted the husband, who's not doing anything about it. I kicked my STBXH out about 2 months ago and after sleeping on couches, he found his own place two weeks ago. I have no idea where, other than it's a city about 10 minutes away. Sad part about him living so close is that he only comes and visit/plays with the younger two for a couple of hours on most of his days off. I don't know what he does on his other days off. I feel he could visit them more often. I'm not sure if she has moved in with him yet. Maybe that would explain why he doesn't come around more often? So 3 months after D-Day, I served him papers.
I have to say that lurking in this forum has helped me do all of this. If I never found this place, I think I would still be where I was 3 months ago...crying and begging him to give me a chance. So thank you everybody!
I have to admit that I am very scared. I know I have to stay strong and focus on myself and the kids. I think I am doing pretty well on that part. But I have my days.
Part of me want him to snap out of this, admit that he screwed up, and come back. But what if he did? Do I really want him back? Yes, this is what i'm going through now. Filing and serving the papers to him had made it official and a reality. I'm afraid i'm having second doubts.