he is obviously not the person he used to be. Is the person he is now someone you want to be with? He made it very clear he doesn't care about you. As much as that may hurt, I think you should focus 100% on you and your soon to be born baby.
It's all been said so well by others here. I understand that his dad just died, but this is his pregnant wife and his soon-to-be-born baby. He doesn't want to deal with the drama now! Well you don't get a choice. Believe me, when you are actually in labor, you will need someone there who is totally focused on you and who cares about you. Don't rely on him because he will let you down.
Biological father. And he passed away from double pnemonia. He went into the hospital that night, then in thr morning he passed. I kind of saw it coming, but it was unexpected for him.
He was excited about the baby(we planned it) but the further along I got, the more distant he became and was "unhappy".
If he's being this way now chances are he may always be this way. I had a similar experience. My STBEX whom Im seperated from left me when I was pregnant twice after I suspected cheating. Both times he went to live with another chic. I begged him to come back both times the secod time he stayed gone til I was 4 months but when he returned I went through hell bc he knew I feared abandonment and being prego left me vulnerable. It was scary and lonely so I put up with a lot of emotional abuse, head games, cheating that I denied was happening cause I wasnt sstrong enough to cope with going through the pregnancy alone.....he knew it and took advantage of it. I regret now not putting my foot down and implimenting No Contact during that time. I could have saved myself years of missery during a time my daughter needed me and a time I needed support. The stress put me into preterm labor I had a premie with major problems in the NICU for 9 months which he was not really around to support me. Sure we lived together but he lived a double life. Looking back I wish I would have let him go then bc he never stopped cheating even when I thought he had Ive now discovered he hadnt and the last 4 years of my life has been a lie right down to our marriage last October....by April he left me for the other woman. LET HIM GO NOW!!!!! Save yourself the grief later. Focus on you and the baby. Lord knows its hard I know what you are going through. I went through it with my 1st husband too. Our 3rd child I went through the pregnancy and delivery without him. I promise you cant make him want to be there or care. Trying will only hurt you more. My daughter's father barely visited her in the hospital and hardly spent time with her when she came home hell he even left me for 3 mnths when she came home from hospital and now since he has left he hasn't seen her in 3 months. It hurts me so bad but like I said you cant make him care or love you or the baby and it only hurts you more to try. If you keep pushing it and he does come around he may resent you later. Let him come to you on his own....guys feel pressured and manipulated when it comes to babies even if it was there idea to have one. The last thing you want is for him to be with you because he feels obligated to do the right thing. Back off focus on you and the baby if he really loves you he will come around but it has to be his choice not something hes being pressured to do.
AI, you have got to freeze this man out. I don't know what his deal is, but he is positively inhumane.
The more you contact him, the more you beg for reassurance, the crueler he will be. He will withdraw more. He is causing you great stress, which can harm the child. What kind of "man" does this to a pregnant woman? What kind of father can he possibly be to the baby?
I can only imagine how frightened and hurt you are, but you have got to find your anger and let it burn. Go cold on him, do not turn your heart toward him again.
Talk to the other people in your life, and get them lined up to assist with the birth. And when labor begins, do not call on this pathetic excuse for a human being to attend you. Do not even let him know it's happening.
The birth of your child should be a joyous occasion, and frankly, it's also a hell of a lot of work. Do not permit anyone to enter the room who is not 100% supportive. He will distract you. Your attention will be all on him and his reactions rather than on what you are experiencing. If he attempts to walk in, scream at him to get out. Have the hospital staff remove him. He does not deserve to be there.
Tell you what - I'll stand guard at your hospital door. And if this clown shows up I'll punch his lights out. Then I'll throw him out the window. I'm enraged for your sake. It's time for you to be enraged too.
I so vividly remember the end of both of my pregnancies. I had a lot of false labor exactly as you describe where each time I was so convinced it was the real thing. I can remember where I was mentally during that time too and it wasn't a good place. I felt very vulnerable and afraid to be alone, because I never knew when it was going to hit next.
And my real labor ended up being the same as the false labor. I ignored it for a long time until I realized this time I was actually having a baby and then I barely made it to the hospital!
You need to build a support system that does not include your husband. If I were you I would pick up and go stay with my parents or in laws now and until the baby was born to have supportive people around me when I was feeling worried or anxious. Those last weeks of waiting were the worst part for me. If you don't have a family network to lean on, please look into hiring a doula. A doula is basically a hired support person that is there for just this reason.
Once your baby is born I am betting your mind will be a little clearer and your focus will change from your constant thinking about your husband to thinking about the baby.
Its not too late to get yourself into IC either. You should really discuss this stuff with your OB, this is an incredibly amount of upheaval for a new mother to go through and your OB can refer you to a counselor who can watch you for PPD. Please take advantage of it. Posted via Mobile Device
He is extremely angry at the world right now. And he has to work today and tomorrow so he can be off for the funeral. He is extremely tired because he was up half the night because I told him I might be in labor. (Turned out to be more false(but painful) labor)
He isn't dealing with this well...and he is trying not to deal with it at all. And I really think the stress from starting back to school in a week, plus his dads passing, plus the arrival of the new baby anytime...its really screwing with his head.
Yes, he is being a ********* and I deserve better and he is a hot mess. But somehow, I feel like he is my ********* mess. I know him...and I will continue to be there, even if he hurts me. That may be weak and foolish...but I can handle it. I've been that way all of my life, being a lightening rod for people's anger...I have many examples. But when people need someone to blame or yell at, it's always been me. I'm really trying to not sound like a victim here. I have accepted this lot in life a longggg time ago.
He is extremely angry at the world right now. And he has to work today and tomorrow so he can be off for the funeral.
He isn't dealing with this well...and he is trying not to deal with it at all. And I really think the stress from starting back to school in a week, plus his dads passing, plus the arrival of the new baby anytime...its really screwing with his head.
Well even with all of that, there is no excuse for his behavior.
Well even with all of that, there is no excuse for his behavior.
and I understand that as well. It's hard when the one's you love screw up and you feel like you have to make excuses for them...and I know I cant really make any for him right now.
I used to make excuses like that for my ex's bad behavior too. One day, though,I finally realized how absurd those excuses were. There really is no defense for his behavior. None.
I understand that he is having a tough time right now...geez. But look at you! What he is doing to you is inexcusable Posted via Mobile Device
Well, good luck then. I really don't know what to say. You are ok with being his emotional punching bag, so...ok. Why exactly did you post? I'm not trying to be rude, but, if you are "ok" with the situation and him being this way, why did you post?
Obviously you are NOT ok with it. You just try to make yourself believe you are. Someday you'll stand up and say NO MORE. But until then, this will be your life.
I've lost 3 people in the past 5 years. Two dads (bio and step) and a gramma. I didn't become a butthole and treat my family like crap. I don't know many that do.
Once upon a time I was depressed and useless to him and he didn't leave. I feel like I owe him the same respect.
I don't find your post rude at all.
I guess I posted because I am lost in this as well. Yes I am pregnant and yes I was left. But I am also trying to deal with a death of father figure(he always treated me like his own) and I am trying to deal with a grieving husband and most likely a scared father to be.
I guess I am just overwhelmed and was looking for support other than "leave the ******* in the dirt".
I am being hit with like a triple/quadruple whammy over here.
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Re: False alarm but he broke my heart again 
It's a special time. Focus on that.
