False alarm but he broke my heart again

abandonmentissues · 08-11-2012, 07:56 PM

Earlier today I was in the bathtub and started having what I thought was contractions.

My parents were working and my water didn't break so all I could do was time them to see if they were the real deal.

They hurt really bad and I had the phone with me, so the only person I could think of to call was my stbxh. I just needed someone to help me time them and talk me through them and I just wanted to talk to him.

He answered the phone and told me he didnt have a stopwatch or anything and that he was walking around town and wasn't home...but to call him if something important happens and he excused himself.

After 20 minutes they started getting very painful so I tried to call him again...and he ignored my call.

I needed him and he broke my heart...all I could do was sit in the bathtub and sob.

I finally got to the hospital and I wasn't in labor...but still...what the hell...was he really too busy to comfort and help his pregnant wife?

I don't understand what I did to deserve that treatment.. All I've done is love him

abandonmentissues · 08-11-2012, 08:07 PM

I don't know if it's the anger or what...but I don't know if I love him anymore after that.

golfergirl · 08-11-2012, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abandonmentissues

Earlier today I was in the bathtub and started having what I thought was contractions.

My parents were working and my water didn't break so all I could do was time them to see if they were the real deal.

They hurt really bad and I had the phone with me, so the only person I could think of to call was my stbxh. I just needed someone to help me time them and talk me through them and I just wanted to talk to him.

He answered the phone and told me he didnt have a stopwatch or anything and that he was walking around town and wasn't home...but to call him if something important happens and he excused himself.

After 20 minutes they started getting very painful so I tried to call him again...and he ignored my call.

I needed him and he broke my heart...all I could do was sit in the bathtub and sob.

I finally got to the hospital and I wasn't in labor...but still...what the hell...was he really too busy to comfort and help his pregnant wife?

I don't understand what I did to deserve that treatment.. All I've done is love him

When real deal happens don't call him. You know where he stands. Labor is a very focused, emotional and private thing. I don't believe he is supportive and you'll be focused on him like you have been all along. You could have called your parents at work, MIL to name a few. By keep putting yourself in contact with him, you're just hurting yourself. He doesn't want it. Your focus on him is unhealthy. You do have control. Just stop it.
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abandonmentissues · 08-11-2012, 08:11 PM

I just wanted his support. That's all, he was the first one I thought of.

I tried to call MIL, she didnt answer(her husband died yesterday so she was probably making arrangements) my dad is out of state on business, and my mother works on the phone so they told me she would call me back.

EleGirl · 08-11-2012, 08:12 PM

Yep, your parents and let them know that you are starting labor... even if it's false right now. And put a plan in place where they can be supportive of you.

Stop calling him. He's being grossly selfish.

EleGirl · 08-11-2012, 08:13 PM

Is there no one else? A friend?

You could come here and people here could help you out. Not quite the same as a voice. But maybe someone from here who you trust would even talk to you on the phone.

abandonmentissues · 08-11-2012, 08:13 PM

This happened earlier today. Just got on the computer to vent about it.

Hospital checked and Im not in real labor yet.

He is now telling me that he didnt feel his phone vibrate and he doesn't want to deal with this drama right now.

I understand he is hurting but...am I not important too?

that_girl · 08-11-2012, 08:15 PM

You will not have his support.

DO NOT call him again. What a jackass

I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.

When it is the real deal, don't bother him. Seriously, do you really want HIM at the birth and "helping" you for hours?

angelpixie · 08-11-2012, 08:23 PM

Oh, AI, this just makes me cry. I can't imagine how scared and alone you must have felt. You have every right in the world to be angry at him!!! And nobody would blame you if what he did -- both in not helping you during the first call, then again by not taking your later call -- killed any last bit of love you had left.

I don't know what is the cause for his actions, but what counts is the way he's acting at this important time in his life, too -- he's about to become a father, and he's acting like an ass!! You need him, his baby needs him. He has not done anything lately to earn your continuing love, AI.

I'm curious -- what is it that you love about him? Are they qualities he showed a long time ago? What if that's not him anymore?

angelpixie · 08-11-2012, 08:27 PM

HE doesn't want to deal with this 'DRAMA' -- my gawd, you're the one thinking you're about to give birth!!!

Please, AI -- listen to the others above. Put together a plan with your parents so that you can call them when the real labor starts. You thought of him first because you were hoping against evidence that hearing the baby was on the way would snap him out of what he's been doing. Now you know that won't happen.

You've got to take care of the two of you -- he won't.

abandonmentissues · 08-11-2012, 08:51 PM

HE told me he didn't want to talk to anyone right now and told me to call his mom or something.

Then he told me he didn't know anything and wouldn't answer any question about our relationship. He just says he doesn't know.

I called him and told him I needed him and he talked to me for like 20 minutes, but only because I said please.
He kept asking me if I was finished and if I was done and he really just didn't want to talk to anyone.

abandonmentissues · 08-11-2012, 08:56 PM

and angel:

When I met him he was so responsible. He was so affectionate and very understanding. He always put others first before himself and let himself be taken advantage of.

(Which is why his sudden selfish attitude is puzzling to everyone)

He is good looking, funny ,and we share many common interests. I'm always up to try things new with him as well.

He even asked my dad if he could date me, then later on asked him permission for my hand in marriage. He was such a gentlemen.

He has a good heart...he isn't showing it right now but he really does.

jpr · 08-11-2012, 09:00 PM

People make time for things that are important to them. His actions are telling you that you and his unborn child are not important to him....sadly.

personally, I think that you need to just leave him alone. Don't contact him...at all. I know it is so hard, because your love him....but you should have a plan in place with your parents or a friends when you go into labor. He is a piece of poop. You can't count on him...and frankly, his actions prove that he doesn't deserve to be a part of your birth plan.
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abandonmentissues · 08-11-2012, 09:03 PM

I know he is hurting from his dad. I just dont know whether to be concerned or angry anymore.

HE just tells me I dont know to everything or he wont answer at all...I dont get him.

golfergirl · 08-11-2012, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abandonmentissues

I know he is hurting from his dad. I just dont know whether to be concerned or angry anymore.

HE just tells me I dont know to everything or he wont answer at all...I dont get him.

I had an important ultrasound scheduled for the day after my mom died. I went. An ultrasound - not birth. Stop making excuses - he was a douche before his dad died. I bet if you caught MIL she would have been there.
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