08-18-2012, 10:00 PM
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: SE Wisconsin
| | Re: Separation confusions??
OP, there is only one reason someone says that stuff, and it is b/c they are involved with someone else. I know you want to believe that isn't true, but if he is a truck driver (locally), he has plenty of opportunity to cheat, esp. during his breaks/lunch time.
No one who is really unhappy and just wants out will say things like that. You would know what it is that makes him so unhappy if it was you causing his distress. You'd be on here saying, "I know I made mistakes and. . . " But clearly he is NOT (yet) putting it on you--he's doing the "I need space [to cheat], and who knows what the future holds."
A person who has really tried to remain married despite being unhappy--and who is NOT cheating--will start with something like, "I just can't do this anymore. . ." A very different story unfolds, and you would be reminded of things that have always bothered him but you down played their significance, and you'd be reeling b/c this things really were important to him and you ignored them and you'd know you were playing with fire and just got burned. Again, that isn't the story.
So, slip a voice activated recorder in his truck, under the seat. Or follow him one day, if that is possible. A person who wants to cheat will figure out how--where there is a will, there is a way.
Do you check the credit card statements? MIght be a clue there if it is something he is responsible for doing. Also check phone records for regular calls--even short ones--to numbers you don't know. Give that number a call and see who answers. Ask for your husband by first and last name and see what happens. Maybe nothing revealing, but maybe otherwise, too. Can't hurt.