08-19-2012, 06:58 AM
Join Date: Jul 2012
| | 3 weeks and still hurting bad
It has been three weeks since my wife told me she didn’t love me any more and wanted to separate. Two days later I found out she was having a full on affair and in love with another married man. 10 years of marriage and a beautiful 8 year old daughter along with a great house and life just discarded. I do so much love my wife and do not want to separate.
I realize that life was busy and that I didn’t provide enough emotional attention to my wife or her to me either for that matter. After reading the “Five Love Languages” book, I really think we could work things out. Since my wife loves another man though, she is not interested in trying to save or work on our marriage. I am quite sure her relationship with him will not last long since he is on his second wife and has a history of cheating (heard this through a mutual friend). I know it will be hard but I am keeping hope that someday my wife will come back and love me again.
For now we are living in the same house to protect our daughter and for financial reasons. I am trying to see this as a partnership and give my wife the space/freedom she needs. Right now the plan is to try and keep this up for a year. I may have another job that will require me to be away 3-4 nights a week. I think it would help me heal better.
I am really trying to work the 180 list and am strong on the outside. Inside however I am in pain and feel like there is always a knife in my gut. I am on anti-depressants and take an anti-anxiety pill so I can sleep. I really try not to think about the future and focus on one day at a time. The future (being alone, not seeing my daughter etc…) scares me to death. I am trying to heal but it is so difficult.