08-31-2012, 07:05 PM
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
| | Re: Husband left me and our 5 month old baby girl
I know it's already been said but you really ought to give the 180 a look and start putting it into practice. Although not the same, I'm the mom of one and having a baby within the next two weeks. I also discovered about two weeks ago that my H has been cheating on me. Now he's at his parents' house and we have no plans of reconciling in place (unlike you, I don't want him back right now (well, my heart does but my head doesn't)), actually, I plan on moving out and getting my own place as soon as I can after giving birth. If my H turns around good on him but I'm not waiting for him to smarten up and I suggest you don't either. I don't know what your situation is but I don't think a man who leaves a pregnant woman or his wife and baby all alone deserves to be sat and cried over.
I am doing the 180 and No Contact (except when I have to for our older son or this pregnancy). It has been helping me to distance myself from him emotionally so that I stay sane lol. No but also to look at my relationship and H for what it/he really is and it's been helping immensely. The 180 will help you out regardless of whether you get back with your H or not. Talking, chasing, begging, crying will not win him back only strength and showing him that you deserve better (and know it) will.
He has shown you that he doesn't want to be with you (at least for right now) so you need to show him (and more importantly, yourself) that you can live with out him and how good you really are - it's all you can do. If/when you do decide to get back together, you can address the relationship problems that led up to this rough time in your marriage. If sadly, you don't reconcile, you will be strong for you and your daughter.
Keep posting on this forum/site because the support is invaluable. Also, get out with your daughter and go and live your life. I know it's easier said than done but sitting at home crying about this and waiting for him to smarten up is not healthy so get some sun and fresh air and focus on the other parts of your life that are going well. I know it's hard but you can't chase him. If you haven't done so already, read "Just Let Them Go" in addition to the 180 rules.
Keep your chin up,