Husband left me and our 5 month old baby girl - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 08-28-2012, 08:17 PM Thread Starter
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Exclamation Husband left me and our 5 month old baby girl

My husband walked out in me and our baby girllast week... Idk what to do to win him back. The more effort I put into trying to talk or make things better just make's things work...

I'm just trying do hard to not text him and give him his space but its hard.

He went to move in with his parents, who hate me and damaged our relationship to this horrible point.

I know I can blame everything on my Mother in Law because my husband should have chose his daughter and wife not her..

I want to win him back though and idk how..

We have court ordered custody mediation in a month...I know I'm prob going to have to wait that long to see him.

And even then things wont be worked out..
Any tips? anyone been through this before or am I dumb for keeping hope that he will return?

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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 08-28-2012, 08:58 PM
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Re: Husband left me and our 5 month old baby girl

Hannah, I am so sorry to hear your story. Unfortunately this happens more than anyone wants to admit. You are not alone. Use this forum to let out your frustrations, and talk about your problems. You are doing the right thing by trying to give him his space. In my opinion, your best chance to win him back is to do just that.

There are no certainties, but there are things that can help. Read this link about the 180 and do what you can to put it into action. Do it for your own sanity, not to win him back. It is very possible that you WILL win him back, but you will find that following these steps will make you much more level-headed.
The Healing Heart: The 180

Is there another woman? Abuse? What caused him to walk out?
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 08-31-2012, 05:05 PM
Join Date: Jul 2012
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Re: Husband left me and our 5 month old baby girl

Hi Hannah. I agree with Un. You need to take care of yourself. The 180 will help you to grow strong. Don't call, text or email him unless it is about your daughter or something important you need to deal with. Chasing him will make you appear weak and clingy and will push him farther away.

Talking won't help. Show him what he is missing by becoming strong and confident.

My heart goes out to you. Its hard enough to parent when there are two parents. I can only imagine how scared and alone you must feel. Is there someone who can mind the baby so you can get a break?
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 08-31-2012, 06:05 PM
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Re: Husband left me and our 5 month old baby girl

Hi Hannah,

I know it's already been said but you really ought to give the 180 a look and start putting it into practice. Although not the same, I'm the mom of one and having a baby within the next two weeks. I also discovered about two weeks ago that my H has been cheating on me. Now he's at his parents' house and we have no plans of reconciling in place (unlike you, I don't want him back right now (well, my heart does but my head doesn't)), actually, I plan on moving out and getting my own place as soon as I can after giving birth. If my H turns around good on him but I'm not waiting for him to smarten up and I suggest you don't either. I don't know what your situation is but I don't think a man who leaves a pregnant woman or his wife and baby all alone deserves to be sat and cried over.

I am doing the 180 and No Contact (except when I have to for our older son or this pregnancy). It has been helping me to distance myself from him emotionally so that I stay sane lol. No but also to look at my relationship and H for what it/he really is and it's been helping immensely. The 180 will help you out regardless of whether you get back with your H or not. Talking, chasing, begging, crying will not win him back only strength and showing him that you deserve better (and know it) will.

He has shown you that he doesn't want to be with you (at least for right now) so you need to show him (and more importantly, yourself) that you can live with out him and how good you really are - it's all you can do. If/when you do decide to get back together, you can address the relationship problems that led up to this rough time in your marriage. If sadly, you don't reconcile, you will be strong for you and your daughter.

Keep posting on this forum/site because the support is invaluable. Also, get out with your daughter and go and live your life. I know it's easier said than done but sitting at home crying about this and waiting for him to smarten up is not healthy so get some sun and fresh air and focus on the other parts of your life that are going well. I know it's hard but you can't chase him. If you haven't done so already, read "Just Let Them Go" in addition to the 180 rules.

Keep your chin up,

Miss T.
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