I totally agree with i wish there was a button so we can stop thinking about them. I still dont know how to do that myself, i'm still working on it too. Keep being strong though, i wish i can be as strong as you.
It takes time and plenty of it, and trust me I have one strong day followed by about 5 weak ones
I didn't find this site until about 5 months into my separation now divorce so alot of my story has gone untold, in essence you got the nutshell version and then the events that have happened from there since I've joined.
I'm trying to be strong but gosh darnit I freaking love this man, I miss him so so so much Lost my best friend, my lover, the man I looked forward to waking up to coming home to all of it. He's so close yet so far away, sometimes it's like I can see him missing me too and other times it's like he doesn't miss me at all. We still talk which I do enjoy but w/that enjoyment comes sorrow because I only have part of him and used to have all of him.
Call me the eternal optomist or call me the woman who tells herself what she needs to hear to make it through another day. But I do honestly believe if it's meant to be it will find away...today, tomorrow, or sometime in the future. I'll honestly admit althogh I love him and miss him he does posses some qualities at the moment that aren't very flattering but don't we all...ugh I'm trying to be positive but hell I'm not going to lie I'm miserable. Such is life, stands you up straight one day, kicks you in the ass the next. Lovely no?
One day after another I continue the march, sometimes I fall flat on my face though. Ugh. Love hurts bad. It can be beautiful but damn it can be ugly at sometimes too and those ugly times well hell they hurt to the core.
Keep posting Rowena everyone's here for you me and the rest of us. I'm glad to have found those here to help me but it really hurts my heart to find so many people in so much pain
Aww Rhea reading all that tore we all to pieces. I really hurt for you, and I wish my wife loved me as strongly as you loved your husband. Its truly remarkable.
Its good to see your getting a little bit calmer about all this. Just that alone might help too. He still needs to realize alot, but with space you have been giving him it appears the gears in his head are a turnin!
Lifes really just not fair. I deserved some of what I got, but by the sounds of it you really didnt.
take care Rhea.
ohh BTW: the whole meat thing agve me the first laugh I had in weeks. That was really something to read.lol
Hey there, glad it could make you smile. That's why I posted it. I found it a tad odd, but very sweet, but kinda funny, that's my man, you never know what you're going to get
I'm glad to have found those here to help me but it really hurts my heart to find so many people in so much pain
It hurts, but at least were helping eachother through. Arent we fortunate to live in the intrenet age. Could you imagine....ugh
I understand the good days/bad days. Today was tough, but I have the kids all weekend and it warms my heart. I missed them so bad during the week.
What I do on the bad days ,when it feels like the walls are closing in, is to find a nice quiet place outdoors with no one around. I let me senses take in whats around me and find some comfort in mourning. I just about completely lost it last week, and just watching the tall grass sway in the breeze like waves on the sea brought me back from the edge. It didnt make it better, but it made it easier somehow.
I dunno, maybe thats just me. My wife would never have noticed such things, but I do.
Rhea, I feel a little bit better after reading your story. Thanks. Similar story except she is asking me to move out and she is saying that I don't care about her. I tried doing many things but apparently that's not what she wants. She is having depression and I really think whether this is the real reason and not because of our marriage. I am also trying to NC but because of the "not care about her" comment....I am so lost as to what I should do
So...tomorrow is court day...never done this before, no lawyers involved, don't know what's going to happen, haven't heard from DH stbx w/e since Thursday, not nervous...yet. Deeply saddened but not much I can do about it now. Anyone here done this before? What should I expect? Help
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"Cause I'll be there, in the back of your mind, from the day we met to the very last night, and it's just too bad, you've already had the best days, the best days of your life..."
Good luck to you Rhea, big hugs. Hang in there and be strong. Looks like I'm heading that way very very fast. It's all very sad and not sure we will ever really get over the loss of the ones we're losing now. I know it will get easier but that's a long time coming for me.
Looooooooong time. Feels so wrong. I wonder when I will start to feel better. I know I'm one helluva woman, I know it's his loss at the moment but I'm losing as well. Not that he's the best man, but we all have faults. I don't know. Weird feeling, doesn't feel like the end to me. I told him that (should have kept it to myself but oh well) such is life. It really doesn't. Feels like a hiatus needed to be done. But I could be wrong. Oh so very wrong. I can't predict the future I just know I wish I could take away tomorrow. Hearts breaking. Trying to hold it together. I will tomorrow if it takes every ounce of me I have. Well at least I'll try my damndest and I'm going into that courthouse looking like a damn rockstar so watch out. Man I love him. As if that isn't obvious. Sucks, thats how this is it sucks. Must soldier on though. Crying like a baby ain't gonna make it go away or hell it'd have been long gone by now.
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"Cause I'll be there, in the back of your mind, from the day we met to the very last night, and it's just too bad, you've already had the best days, the best days of your life..."
I here you Rhea I really do. I think that not feeling it's really over feeling is just us thinking of the good times and wanting those back. I really don't think it's legitimate hope if you know what I mean. They could all just make a decision and stop everything and turn around the other way. Sadly that rarely happens you know.
I can say that I do love my wife but it's just so far gone at this point that I really feel sorry for the position that she's put herself in financially. My love is now turning away and not so strong at this point.
Hang in there girl you're a strong woman for sure.
Yes I understand what you're saying. Yes you're right it's very rare. I say it doesn't feel like the end, but fact of the matter is he IS ending it. I can't say that I'm holding out hope, but something keeps me feeling connected. Maybe it will just go back to the great friendship before. Maybe everything will end all together. Whatever "it" may be everything does happen for a reason therefor whatever it "is" eventually I WILL make it through it. So life must go on. It will get better, but it will take time. But hell I've got all the time in the world now I suppose.
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"Cause I'll be there, in the back of your mind, from the day we met to the very last night, and it's just too bad, you've already had the best days, the best days of your life..."
Dear Rhea, I have read your thread and am so sad to hear the struggles you have gone through with your husband. I recommend speaking to your husband before court tomorrow and both dismissing the motion for divorce. You obviously still love him and want your marriage not only to be restored but even better than it was and your husband obviously loves you but is emotionally immature and has a lot of growing to do before he is at a place that is functional for himself and for you. Divorce will only complicate this situation more than it is. Statistically separation rarely works and usually only adds to greater emotional separation which in turn leads to divorce. Tomorrow is actually a very special day for my wife and I as it is the date of our first date so many years ago, we try to always celebrate our love on the 25th of June as another Anniversary. Bless you dear one! I will be praying for your success in court tomorrow. Love Takes Work (a/k/a a sinner along this journey we call life fully dependent on God’s Love and Support)
I hurt so very incredibly bad right now. I'm so sad. I have never felt so incredibly worthless and meaningless in my life. I'm so broken right now I only hope that I can put myself back together eventually. Everything felt so very wrong today. Very very very wrong. Oh man this is kicking my ass. Fiercly. Bless my supposed best friends soul the day this one kicks him in the ass...
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"Cause I'll be there, in the back of your mind, from the day we met to the very last night, and it's just too bad, you've already had the best days, the best days of your life..."
Dear Rhea, Hang on! You have obviously have exercised love in all your actions with your husband. Your life will come together, I am not to sure about your husband though, he appears to be on a very self-centered path. When you are up to it if you want too only can share what the outcome of today was? Praying for your success! Love Takes Work (a/k/a a sinner along this journey we call life fully dependent on God’s Love and Support)
Re: Caught off guard
