A short background:
Together 7 years, two small children, she filed for divorce and took the kids (legal issues there), and we've been separated for about 4 months. I was the stay-at-home parent at the time, and considered myself the primary care-giver (I was a student), while she was the primary income earner. There were issues between us, but to sum things up, I became a bit of a pariah in her eyes, and she did everything to hurt me in the short term (which the legal system allows. Another issue for another day).
We had a settlement conference a few weeks back that went surprisingly well. It was the first time we had spoken in 3 months. The first things she said to me were that she wanted to be friends, and that she missed me. Good news, I thought. It was very emotional in a positive way (we held hands, and hugged several times at the end), she had reasonable explanations for all my concerns over the children, and we set up some decent regular visits for me for the time being.
However, she persisted in maintaining that I was the cause of her problems. I acknowledged that was her perception, but stated I had a different view of things (my counsellor told me this was a good strategy. It's better than calling her a liar). She is currently on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication, and has been hospitalized once in the past 4 months for a related mental health concern (although she told me they told her she was fine). When we were together, she ignored these problems, and it's apparent that she's getting help, which is good news. We also agreed to meet again soon.
She has apparently started seeing a man with some regularity. I asked that she not bring him around the kids, as apparently she is becoming quite serious with him in quite a short amount of time. She agreed.
Turns out, she was lying. My oldest told me he stayed the weekend there, and that they've been talking about marriage. Her words were delightful in a sad way, "Mommy wants to get married, and you're not gonna like who she wants to marry."
So...I've called my lawyer and am waiting to hear back from him. I was deluded in our meeting into thinking that she had actually changed, and I foolishly believed she was telling the truth. I allowed her to escape from the fact that she's medicated and not well, and from her continued scapegoating of me.
How do I handle my next meeting? I was weak, and I thought that maybe she was thinking of changing her mind, but clearly she's making irrational decisions. I explained to her why she shouldn't have a man around so soon, but obviously that fell on deaf ears.
Do I nix our next meeting and try my chances in court? Or do I try to work with her?
Any advice would be appreciated.