Well it's been a month since my wife asked to separate. We have been married for 23 years tomorrow. I'm devastated. She has told me that she thinks that she made a mistake by marrying me and we just have no shared interests an unsatisfying sex life for her, lack of mutual friends etc. etc, etc....
I'm pretty angry that she waited 23 years to say she made a mistake, what a waste of my life.
We started our marriage off with me earning a lot of money. Through unforeseen circumstances we lost that income and have struggled financially ever since, living paycheck to paycheck. We have two children one is 21 and joining the military the other is 17. Now we are both working opposite schedules, her at night me early mornings, I get up sometimes at 3 am. So I need to be in bed before she gets home.
For a long time she had issues with anger and depression. She took out all her anger on me with us having terrible fights. She started medication for that 7 years ago and has been even keeled since. No angry outbursts, no depression. For all those fights I have forgiven her, she can't forgive me though for my job losses and not providing her a sense of security. She hasn't said anything about our relationship for years and finally said she was done. I feel she quit and stopped trying to voice her concerns with me about our marriage.
I admit I haven't been the best spouse I could have been. I put my children and her happiness before me and didn't work on my own life. I know I could have been a better husband. Now I see it and want a second chance, but I don't think she is going to give it to me at this time.
She is a teacher and doesn't have any income during the summer months. After she told me she wanted a separation, she asked that I not pull away and stay through the summer so she could afford to stay in our house. I told her that if she felt like she wanted to separate, I wasn't going to stay and sleep in another room, just so she could be comfortable until she started earning her income again. Was that a mistake? We spoke the other day and she said I was the one who wanted to leave! and she wanted to not have me leave? Huh????
I also told her that if I hear she is having trouble paying rent, electric and for food, I will do everything I could to have my children stay with me. I told if she couldn't afford basic necessities, she couldn't support my children, period! She want's me to pay all the bills from our house for the month i wasn't there, keep my car and have me to continue paying for it, stay on my cell phone plan with me paying it.....
She doesn't seem to want to go to counseling to try and reconcile which is something I willing to try.
I'm just so unhappy, I can't believe this is really happening. I have no idea what to do. It's just so depressing. I didn't think my body had that much water in it for the amount of tears I have cried.