Oh, it matters all right. I had sex with dh when we were separated 16 years ago...I now have a 15.5 year old son. DH managed to get me pregnant . I trusted him when he said: "I've got it covered". YES he did it on purpose...
That's a good questions. I have it also. I don't want the seperation or divorce. He does. However, I am holding onto hope that he'll discover that the "grass isn't greener."
I can see sex during the seperation. I am wondering if it is just a place for sex for the guy.....with the gal holding on to hope. Or, does it maintain the connection.
My husband had an assistant, years old, at work. Her husband had an affair, got the other woman preganant, and eventually married her. My husband's assistant still loved him and still had sex with him. Nothing ever came out of it. Especially, when it's not monogamous sex....I believe he's playing both fields.
Well if you read my thread the DH and I have been sleeping together during the entire separation and just a recently as 2 weeks ago. He hasn't been monogamous (yes I knew that it wasn't a surprise to me) and no nothing has come of it. He hasn't seen the light. I wish I wouldn't have done it the entire time. It wasn't the best move on my part. Don't get me wrong it was great and I enjoyed it as well as he.
I'm torn on this one. In my head he keeps coming back to me for a reason. In other's minds he's keeping me as a back up (which I don't necessarily disagree with I just don't like the idea).
I guess it's a matter of you not hoping that that will keep the marriage toghether. I didn't think it would be the thread that sewed ours back up but I did in the back of my mind think it'd cause more realizations than it has. I still think he's ignoring a lot but that's just me.
My husband and I have been separated for 4 months now, and have been having sex during the separation. He left, I want to work on things. It is certainly a confusing decision.
I have told my husband in no uncertain terms that if he wishes to start dating / having sex with other women he has to divorce me first. Otherwise, if he is still undecided about divorce, I am willing to maintain sexual contact.
I am usually the one to initiate, but if he asks and I'm just not in a good place at the time, I will say no. It is not punishment. I am really not trying to play games. I don't think that sex will bring him back, and I don't think that withholding sex will bring him back.
It is hard because it gives me some hope, but on the other hand, what is the point of making myself more miserable by not getting to have sex?
My wife and I discussed the posibility of this, and we decided we couldnt rule it out. Things are still a little to fresh for it to happen though as shes still holding alot of anger towards me.
I really cant decide if its a good idea or not. I see it as convenient and safe (as long as youre being smart about it). At the same time Im afraid it might give me false hope that she wants to work on things. That wouldnt be a good thing right now.
I guess its up to you. Question is, can you be ok with it and not look into it too much. Thats all that really matters.
my husband's heart is now torn between two women and he never had sex with the woman. he wanted to fill his emotional void. not sexual void. sex is sex right now during a separation. i want to make love to my husband. right now, sex would be an escape for both of us and will confuse both of us more. it's tough. but holding out hopefully will bring me the respect i deserve.