06-22-2009, 10:33 PM
Join Date: Jun 2009
| | Recently Separated
My wife moved out of our house and into an apartment this weekend. She told me a few weeks ago that she was considering it because she was unhappy, felt smothered and other similar arguments.
It seems as if there are two versions of her because when we got back from vacation a few weeks ago, she said it's nice to be home and started shopping, doing yard work, and generally "nesting" type activities. Even the night before she moved out we were shopping for household items and she was asking me what I wanted to do for the weekend. Her girlfriend called her about a planned weekend visit and I heard her say she was "on the fence" about something (which I later put together what she was really talking about). Her friend arrived this past Friday, and by the time I got home from work they had already started packing and moving things out.
She said we could still "do stuff" together. Today when she was getting more stuff from the house I could tell she was crying. I am not sure but I think she is very divided and may even already regret that she left to some degree. I asked her if I should take my ring off and she said no, and she was not taking hers off either. She hasn't told her parents and didn't want me to tell mine either. This again leads me to the belief that she is very uncertain of what she is doing. She is the type that after making the decision, right or wrong, she thinks she needs to follow through with it.
The rental property is a 3 month lease. I would really like her back home. I have worked so hard to make a life with her and we enjoy doing so many of the same things, we have the same political beliefs, hobbies, activities, etc.
I didn't resist her moving out. I told her yesterday I didn't want her to go but I respected her decision. I am limiting contact, I haven't called her except regarding her picking up more stuff. I let her take anything she wanted.
Finally, I got an email from her tonight asking if I would go with her to a festival this Friday. I think my letting her go may already be drawing her back in but it may be too early to tell. I don't know if I should accept her request or not. On the one hand I want to because I don't want her to grow detached from me and seek company somewhere else, and I miss her already. This is especially the case if she is TRULY regretting her decision already. On the other hand I am still a little angry and feel abandoned. I don't want her to feel she gets all the same benefits of our relationship after she has rejected me like this and is living somewhere else.
I have treated her very well, never hurt her physically or emotionally, I'm responsible, respectful....I am having a hard time figuring this out. How can I be responsible for her happiness?
It's only been a few days and I'm lonely and bored and feeling sad.