Separated for 6 mos. and don't know what to do

chrs0111 · 06-28-2009, 10:36 PM

Hello everyone...I am new to this forum and am looking forward to chatting with all of you. I will try to give you the simplest rundown of my situation and look forward to hearing your responses.
My wife and I have been married 2.5 years, and have been separated for the past 6 months (living separately). We have sold our house and now each have our own apt with a year lease. Met my wife through my sister 9 years ago and have been together for the past 6 years. My wife and I talk all the time...atleast 2x a day, and sometimes 4 to 5. However we don't see each other all that often (1x a week). We do have very good conversation over the phone and even talk very positively about our future. However in person things seem to be much different. We are OK for a little while but then she seems to get very frustrated and wants me to leave. When I see her I want to kiss her and we normally do, but lately she seems so reluctant. She almost dashes past the kiss and gives me a hug. The conversation doesn't seem to be flowing as well as it once did. I love her very much and all my friends say they can see how much I adore her...however theyre not sure (nor am I) that she feels the same. She always tells me how much she loves me but sometimes her actions speak louder than her words...Any questions feel free to ask and again I look forward to hearing all of your responses.

Rhea · 06-28-2009, 11:12 PM

Sad to see you joining us w/marital issues, even sadder to see your story parallel mine only from the opposite side, I was in your shoes your wife doing what my ex H did...

Deejo · 06-29-2009, 11:16 AM

chrs0111, what is the expectation?

Impression that I get is that you are hoping for a reconciliation, it seems apparent that your wife is looking for a dissolution.

Is it clear where you both stand?

chrs0111 · 06-29-2009, 12:32 PM

My wife and I both say that we want this to work. She tells me she can't see herself with anyone else but me but yet does not seem to be putting forth a whole lot of effort to make it work. True granted we talk all the time but do not spend a whole lot of time together nor are we affectionate at all. She's very very involved with her friends...10X more than when we first got together. It's like she's living to please them, to do all she can for them but not me. When we talk on the phone she will get off with me to talk to them. She also makes excuses as to why I'm there when she talks to them or her family. It can never be just that we want to hang out or visit for a little bit. It's "he came over to pick some stuff up" or "I needed help with this so he came over to help me". Is she telling them something different than she's telling me?

chrs0111 · 06-29-2009, 12:33 PM

Rhea

What was the outcome of your situation?

overitnolove · 07-01-2009, 03:19 AM

Chris0111,

You wife sounds like me.

I think you need to go to councelling to fingure things out one way or the other. That is what is happenin with my and my H b/c I truly don't know what to do.