Re: This really does suck.
Just to echo that. It's the decision I have come to, but freely admit to sucking at putting into practice so far. No cheating or abuse in my situation but I have suffered from depression long term and not dealt with it which has drained her emotionally.
The real me from before depression got hold deserves another chance. Problem is, the guy that took over for a couple years or more has caused too much damage for that to matter. I can hope she has a change of heart but really all I can do is let her go and work on sorting my many issues out without her.
Thats where the plan is a little sketchy as I don't know where to start, other than meds and counselling but the goal is non negotiable, I have to do it for my kids and my own self respect (pretty sure I have some, just need to find where I mislaid it). I'd love to do it for her but she is gone and nothing I do can change that. The only person that can bring her back is.. her; and she most likely won't want to. It's hard to admit but in my case, knowing her as well as I do, she won't have made the choice to separate lightly.
“That’s the eagle, the king of the birds,” said his neighbor. “He belongs to the sky. We belong to the earth—we’re chickens.” So the eagle lived and died a chicken, for that’s what he thought he was.
Anthony de Mello - Awareness