Re: Is this a good or bad idea??
I hear what you're saying StephenG.
Any sort of R does not seem to be on the cards for my wife either. But you know something. There has been no infidelity in our marriage so far as I can tell and I sure as hell will NOT be going down that route. Until I have given up on my marriage I will stay faithful. Sure it feels a little stupid in the sense she says no chance, but this bit isn't about what she says or wants. It's about being able to look myself in the mirror.
I cant profess to want her back and be with another woman at the same time, the two are mutually exclusive. If you can honestly say you have done all you can or intend to and have given up, go for it with OW.
If you REALLY want your wife back (regardless of the chance of it happening) you can't go cake eating?
“That’s the eagle, the king of the birds,” said his neighbor. “He belongs to the sky. We belong to the earth—we’re chickens.” So the eagle lived and died a chicken, for that’s what he thought he was.
Anthony de Mello - Awareness