snix11

Ok... ya'll win. I quit.

As any of you who follow my thread know, I'm not generally a quitter.

Now.

How does this work? Ignore him? kick him out of the bed? the house? what?

If he leaves the house, I shouldn't expect any child support or anything at least for a while. I am not working and have no way to pay for the mortgage at the moment.

It will take about 300.00 to fix the place up so I can rent out a room (his daughter made holes in the walls, broke doors etc when she was angry - temper problems that have been mostly fixed over the last year by my working with her)

Even if I rent out a room, that won't pay the mortgage. I haven't been able to find work and can't afford daycare for three kids.

Suggestions?

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preso

In some states you cannot kick him out, you have to get a lawyer and have him leave legally.
If you kick him out of the house you could end up being sued.

Look in the newspaper, you may get some ideas for a job in there. Maybe if you can't find kids to babysit you can babysit the elderly in your home.

sisters359

Is his name on the mortgage? I can't remember. If so, he needs to keep paying it or his credit will be ruined, too. Preso's idea about taking in kids or others to watch is a good way to earn income at home, too.

I say tell him to leave--you need him gone. Tell him you have re-thought the whole "waiting til I'm financially stable" thing and if he cannot commit to you, he should go. (If you make it his "choice," you aren't kicking him out). He can sleep on a friend's couch and his pretty little charade will be blown apart. Let him deal with the friends and their questions. You have protected him too long. Make sure he knows he needs to pay the mortgage and give you enough money to feed and care for everyone until you raise an income. Mention your plans for earning $$ and tell him the two of you can sit down and work out a budget again once you are working, but you need X amount of money to get through the next couple of weeks.

If he won't go--or he comes back, but not with commitment--then separate bedrooms for sure, and don't take care of him. His laundry, meals, etc. need to be his own.

Good job, snix. Good luck executing your plan.

Corpuswife

I've read your posts and you certainly aren't a quitter! I know this must be hard on you but probably harder to live in a relationship that isn't working.

I would take kids in a daycare situation, if possible. I know a few women that make decent money providing day care in their homes. That is my first idea. How old are your children?

snix11

My kids are 1-6-9-17 (18 tomorrow!)

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Corpuswife

First step, I'd get him out of the bedroom. That is torture to have him there!!!

Second step, look for a job. The middle kids should be starting school soon and partially eliminate daycare. Some school even have afterschool care on site for a cheap price. The youngest will probably need a daycare. Or....daycare in the home with you as a provider. The friends of mine that are in home providers target school teachers kids. It works out great for both parties.

In the meantime, while he's out of your room....he can figure things out while you are busy getting on with your life.