For those who don't know my story I was with my ex for 6 years and only married a year. She left me for her ex who she was with for 5 years prior to our relationship. Very typical scenerio.
She fell out of love...needed space...etc...she fit the cheating spouse to a T. She thought she did nothing wrong because she claims she didn't have sex with the POSom until after the D was final in OCT. There's a lot more to this as with any relationship ending story but these are the main points.
She acted like we would possibly try to work things out after the Holidays from an email she wrote me in early DEC. Today she said this to me via email:
I don't want to hurt you and I never intended to hurt you. All that has transpired throughout this process has hurt you and for that I sincerely am very sorry. To answer you upfront and truthfully, yes, I do believe it is best for the both of us to continue moving forward with our lives. As I told you the last time we spoke I truly do wish nothing but happiness for you and I wish the best for you. Divorce is hard and I have repeatedly told people I wouldn't wish it on even my worst enemy. I am very sorry I put us both through it. It brought out the worst in each of us at times, but I am relieved we are not enemies and are amicable. It is hard to deviate from your normal routine and the life you are accustomed to but once you are able to let that go I am confident you will find your happiness. I am a firm believer that something good comes from every bad situation. This has been a very humbling experience for me and I know that in time there will be a silver lining to the clouds in your sky.
My response was this:
You had it easy in this. I was the one who was left. You were never alone as I was and am. I will never call, text, email, or communicate with you again and expect you to do the same after this weekend.
(She's getting the last of her things out this weekend from the marital house which I live in)
Her response was this:
Again, I truly am sorry for all of this. And whether you choose to believe it or not I too was hurt. That being said, I will respect your wishes regarding the no contact and thank you in advance for doing the same.
Hopefully the weather will cooperate and we can arrange to have those items moved this weekend. I will let you know.
And my final email to her was this which I feel a sense of closure now and hope to completely move on at this point:
Well your hurt was primarily caused by the guilt of your actions based off your personality type. You are not truly sorry or I would be coming home tonight to you. I forgive you though. Statistically your chances of a lasting relationship with the affair partner are slim. Once the endorphins wear off (probably Spring to Summer), you will second guess your actions. I think your pride will never allow you to come running back which is good because I wouldn't take you back once the book is shut. The main reason I'm even opening this can of worms is because I also know with your personality type that by me saying what will happen, you will be less inclined to ever come back once you know I was right. I hope you prove me wrong but I do wish you the best either way. Please do realize I do forgive you.
I am hurt still but feel that forgiving her was a big step in my healing process. I have done the 180 and had NC except when she contacts me, this should be over now and I'll be on permanent NC from this weekend on. I won't be there when she moves the final things out either...I'll be leaving her a key under the mat.
She fell out of love...needed space...etc...she fit the cheating spouse to a T. She thought she did nothing wrong because she claims she didn't have sex with the POSom until after the D was final in OCT. There's a lot more to this as with any relationship ending story but these are the main points.
She acted like we would possibly try to work things out after the Holidays from an email she wrote me in early DEC. Today she said this to me via email:
I don't want to hurt you and I never intended to hurt you. All that has transpired throughout this process has hurt you and for that I sincerely am very sorry. To answer you upfront and truthfully, yes, I do believe it is best for the both of us to continue moving forward with our lives. As I told you the last time we spoke I truly do wish nothing but happiness for you and I wish the best for you. Divorce is hard and I have repeatedly told people I wouldn't wish it on even my worst enemy. I am very sorry I put us both through it. It brought out the worst in each of us at times, but I am relieved we are not enemies and are amicable. It is hard to deviate from your normal routine and the life you are accustomed to but once you are able to let that go I am confident you will find your happiness. I am a firm believer that something good comes from every bad situation. This has been a very humbling experience for me and I know that in time there will be a silver lining to the clouds in your sky.
My response was this:
You had it easy in this. I was the one who was left. You were never alone as I was and am. I will never call, text, email, or communicate with you again and expect you to do the same after this weekend.
(She's getting the last of her things out this weekend from the marital house which I live in)
Her response was this:
Again, I truly am sorry for all of this. And whether you choose to believe it or not I too was hurt. That being said, I will respect your wishes regarding the no contact and thank you in advance for doing the same.
Hopefully the weather will cooperate and we can arrange to have those items moved this weekend. I will let you know.
And my final email to her was this which I feel a sense of closure now and hope to completely move on at this point:
Well your hurt was primarily caused by the guilt of your actions based off your personality type. You are not truly sorry or I would be coming home tonight to you. I forgive you though. Statistically your chances of a lasting relationship with the affair partner are slim. Once the endorphins wear off (probably Spring to Summer), you will second guess your actions. I think your pride will never allow you to come running back which is good because I wouldn't take you back once the book is shut. The main reason I'm even opening this can of worms is because I also know with your personality type that by me saying what will happen, you will be less inclined to ever come back once you know I was right. I hope you prove me wrong but I do wish you the best either way. Please do realize I do forgive you.
I am hurt still but feel that forgiving her was a big step in my healing process. I have done the 180 and had NC except when she contacts me, this should be over now and I'll be on permanent NC from this weekend on. I won't be there when she moves the final things out either...I'll be leaving her a key under the mat.