Re: A cruel Limbo
I am sorry that you are going through this, but you found the perfect place to be. This website has wonderful people, that know what you are going through, and are willing to help in anyway that they can.
With that said, your story sounds a lot like mine, so here is what I can say. The first question, when I posted my story was "Do you believe there is another man involved?" Usually when women act this way, there is. In my case, she said there wasn't, but I dug a little just to make sure, and I don't think there is. I believe mine is stress related due to miscarriage, and other factors. If you do not think there is someone else, you need to look into doing the 180. This is to help you become a better person, and in turn, might make your W want to be with you again, but don't worry about her, worry about you. I know, it is easier said than done, but it really does help. I have started going to the gym, and started a new hobby. You can not sit at home and think about what is going on, you need to continue living your life. She will be! Also, try not to contact her, this is very difficult, but also very important. This is my take of it, I might be wrong, but this is what gets me through the nights. If you continue to call, beg and plead, she has the upper hand. She knows, that she can test drive this single life, and if she doesn't like it, she always has you to fall back on. By living your live, you are not only healing for your sake, but she sees that you might not be there, and that she needs to really think about her actions. I'm not saying this will save a marriage, but its not really about that, it is more about you becoming a strong independent person, so if it is over, you are better after it, then you were before it. I know, this is as clear as mud. I'm sure there are people on here that will explain it better, but this is what I get from it, and it seems to work. I don't call my wife, and she calls me now, she sees that I am not sitting by the phone. Even if I am doing nothing, and she texts me, I give it 30 mins before I answer. I don't want her thinking I am dropping what I am doing to respond. Now will this save my marriage, who knows, but I feel better as a person. While she is going out living life, I was sitting in my room miserable. Now, it still hurts and sucks, but it seems to suck a lot less. I hit the gym, or go take my camera out to take some pictures. She can go drink, and stay up late, that is not improving her, I am working out and taking photos, both of which I see as self improving.
One last question, how old is your wife? Just curious, because as I said this is a lot like my story, and wanted to see if age was a common point. My wife is 33. Good luck, keep your head up and remember you are not alone!
For tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today