Wife is leaving me. Is there any hope?
I've been married for 3 years, together for 4. I'm 31. She's 27. No kids. I've been financially supporting her, but my income has decreased significantly. She doesn't work.
My wife and I talked after she had left for a family visit for over a month, when she became more and more distant and angry towards me. I remained calm and listened. She told me everything that's been bothering her with our relationship and cried through most of it. She says it's half my family and half me, and she went through a list of why. She dreams of a happy life with her in-laws, but said she will never have that with me. She thinks my mother and brother hate her and always will. She also thought that I never stood up to them enough when defending her. She says that they've caused our relationship to go down and down.
As for me, she said I've been overly critical of her repeatedly over the past 3 years about her clothes, body, our sex life and even her choice of shows she likes. She says I don't take her out to dance enough, and I'm unhappy when I do. She brought up trips that we've taken that she didn't think I was excited for. She's been waiting for me to give her a dream wedding because we eloped when we got married. She feels that I haven't been trying to have the wedding and get her new ring because I've bought other things instead, and she's been waiting 3 years. She thinks I'm too impatient and get angry as a result, which pushes her away more and more.
She doesn't think I will change. She thinks I will always be too impatient and critical. And she knows my family will never change. She said that she doesn't want me or my family to change if we tried because she thinks it would be fake and not a natural change.
She's given up on me. She says things have gone too far to where she doesn't care anymore. She won't see a marriage counselor. She's done with me.
I'm heartbroken. We both still said we love each other. I got a little emotional because I know my impatience and criticism is coming from my financial and family stress, and I told her that I wish she could see that and let me get help. I know I've wronged her so many times. I've been under constant stress since we got married, and I have plenty of low points where I lash out. I haven't been the same person she first met. I don't have enough money for her dream wedding and ring. I know I need help and want to get it. She said it didn't matter and it's too late. I asked her to at least take some time to think about what I said and not make a decision yet. She said her mind was made up before she came to talk. She wants to end it. Once she makes up her mind that's it.
We ended our talk calmly. We hugged a few times. I told her I love her and hope she will at least consider what I said about getting help. I don't think she will change her mind. I think it's over. She's taking her things and leaving tomorrow. I feel like such a fool and a jerk.
Last edited by mr.mike; 01-27-2013 at 05:42 AM.