Hi people .
Will it ever end , I feel like I can't take much more. 2o times I've I'm ok now and 20 times I've sunk again.
Only just last week I felt like I was finally done but this last few days and it's here I go again, probably almost as low again as at any other point.
It's only been a bit over 4 mths since we split , not long after 18yrs I guess but it's just so fkg hard . I was over there last night to be with my daughter too and you have to do it and of course you want to but every time - the next day - whack !
I mean my ex made me tea , desert , went out for a few hrs so we could be alone for awhile . Later she comes home , throws on a dvd , me and my D are just messing about. But it's in this new house , a house she's moved from out of our own home to and into , here I am spending evenings there now to be with my own daughter - it's mad,
Craziest thing is ex and I just talk away around this new home of hers , or on the way out as I go again for well, an hour last night . And then I go home.
No wonder I've hit another low , Jesus !
Plus I'm alone round here , there's no one really. Then the house itself is empty now .
I'm doing all the stuff I'm suppose too these days , have well mostly from about the 2nd -3rd week . Accept the 180 business is a bit confusing here too as I was the one that had an EA and among other things , caused a lot of this and her a lot of pain. That part gets complicated and it's all in here somewhere anyway but that does make well , basically ignoring her at those times , confusing. Although she did this , she's still in a lot of pain from my doing you could say.
The rest of the 180 stuff I do do but we do still talk all the time especially if I'm over there - that's 1/2 for my daughter's sake and 1/2 that it just happens . If we're not getting back together though sometimes it's hard to know if that does me more harm than good though in healing.
All I do know for sure is that these lows just keep on coming , will they ever stop ?
I can't get out hardly at all apart from stuff I have to do , just don't have the money right now . And being out of all our towns on an ac , it costs you to even drive to a shop so when things are tight well .
I know one thing , if next pays a good one I'm filling the damn car up to the brim.
Will it ever end , I feel like I can't take much more. 2o times I've I'm ok now and 20 times I've sunk again.
Only just last week I felt like I was finally done but this last few days and it's here I go again, probably almost as low again as at any other point.
It's only been a bit over 4 mths since we split , not long after 18yrs I guess but it's just so fkg hard . I was over there last night to be with my daughter too and you have to do it and of course you want to but every time - the next day - whack !
I mean my ex made me tea , desert , went out for a few hrs so we could be alone for awhile . Later she comes home , throws on a dvd , me and my D are just messing about. But it's in this new house , a house she's moved from out of our own home to and into , here I am spending evenings there now to be with my own daughter - it's mad,
Craziest thing is ex and I just talk away around this new home of hers , or on the way out as I go again for well, an hour last night . And then I go home.
No wonder I've hit another low , Jesus !
Plus I'm alone round here , there's no one really. Then the house itself is empty now .
I'm doing all the stuff I'm suppose too these days , have well mostly from about the 2nd -3rd week . Accept the 180 business is a bit confusing here too as I was the one that had an EA and among other things , caused a lot of this and her a lot of pain. That part gets complicated and it's all in here somewhere anyway but that does make well , basically ignoring her at those times , confusing. Although she did this , she's still in a lot of pain from my doing you could say.
The rest of the 180 stuff I do do but we do still talk all the time especially if I'm over there - that's 1/2 for my daughter's sake and 1/2 that it just happens . If we're not getting back together though sometimes it's hard to know if that does me more harm than good though in healing.
All I do know for sure is that these lows just keep on coming , will they ever stop ?
I can't get out hardly at all apart from stuff I have to do , just don't have the money right now . And being out of all our towns on an ac , it costs you to even drive to a shop so when things are tight well .
I know one thing , if next pays a good one I'm filling the damn car up to the brim.