Some of you know that I am following Dr. Dobson's Tough Love in regards to my separation. I've been married 24 years and last Oct. I get the "I love you, but no longer in love with you" speech.
During that time, I've tried it all. In March, he decided that he wanted a divorce. I still continued to try. Nothing would do, begging, convincing, talking, sex, marital counseling, etc.
That is when I gave up and said, this is what you want then you got it! Up until the day that he left, we still did everything as a family..church, dinner, shopping, sex (initiated by me 90%).
There are no affairs past or present and no abuse. I am lucky. We don't fight or enjoy drama. In fact, his best friends says that as a divorcing couple we get along better than most married!
A few weeks before he was going to with a lawyer I suggested a separation. He agreed. He moved out mid July.
It has been 11 days. I don't call or have any contact with him unless I have to (kids/mutual business). So far I had no reason to contact him. Our boundaries/rules were set up before he moved out (no dating other; no unnecessary contact; no big purchases without each other knowing)
He called briefly a few days after moving (he lost something). He called last Sunday to make arrangement for picking up our daugher after church. He asked us to lunch after church. At first I hesitated and said "ok." I later texted him that I couldn't go and I had plans.
This is part of the Tough Love. He fought so hard to leave. I am giving him a taste of the "grass is greener." He doesn't get to eat as a family, when he is divorced.
BOY! DOES THIS SUCK!! It goes against what is natural for our relationship.
I am looking for some support during this time. We have agreed to meet in a month (after the moved out) to reevaluate the situation. Are we to stay as is or divorce or reconcile.
I feel like a crazy person sometimes. I have to plan for this meeting in 2.5 weeks. Almost to prepare myself for the worse (divorce). I don't want to fall apart in front of him.
My goal for this separation would be him wanting to reconcile and work on the marriage. I don't want him to enter back into the household without wanting to work (100%). So, I even need to prepare myself for that.....wanting to come home because of loneliness, etc.
I am doing alot of praying. I pray that I will follow GODs plan for me in this relationship.