Yes, I did get that PM, I read it twice actually on my cellphone...I didn't have a chance to reply, but I still think you're making excuses for her. So what if you were too late to come around. I've read all your posts by the way, I just haven't memorized all the facts as I'm not an internet stalker
. I mean if my hubby came around, that means he came around. Not, oh you're too late, so I'm going to throw away my ten years of marriage to be with this OM.
She needs a good psychiatrist. Answer to the questions aren't clear cut. I can't say by just reading off the internet. Diagnoses aren't made this way. Based on what I'm hearing, this mandates a health & wellness exam by a psychiatrist. Now this doesn't mean it's going to save your marriage, perhaps it would give you a better understanding of what's going on and that YOU ARE NOT AT FAULT. There are 5 stages to loss/grief, described by Kubler, Ross: denial, anger, bargainning, acceptance, depression...not in this specific order, ppl go through it at different orders. You are A CLASSIC BARGAINNER. Do not bargain with yourself. You ARE NOT AT FAULT.
I know what you're going to say to me next. "But this has been going on for 5 years. See my previous posts." I know, snap out of it. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
AGAIN, my friend. YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOURSELF, NOT HER. DO NOT NOT NOT LET HER TAKE OVER YOUR MIND. Quite frankly this is your biggest mistake as I'm not sure your wife has a stable mind...what kind of a person let's someone without a stable mind, dictate theirs? Someone going through loss/grief, you are bargainning, time to move on to ACCEPTANCE...
Really got to get some sleep now...PONDER, THINK, DON'T MAKE EXCUSES FOR ME CUZ I'M GETTING CRANKY WITHOUT MY SLEEP. We'll talk about it 2morrow.
Hugs my internet friend,