I actually read the LMBT twice this week. Yes it does seem like we are in similar situations. My w -- still don't if the there really is an OM situation or not -- has just lost my respect.
Avoidance of conflict made her think that I didn't have guts. When we dated I didn't care if I made her mad etc. I guess having a child for me changed me or I just didn't want to play the games of dating in a marriage. Doesn't matter though. I just have to go back to how I was with regards that aspect and act like I used to in that way.
No1 please PM to discuss. What part of michigan are you in.
Well, there is items to report. Nothing really earthshattering. We went to church today, and first she yelled at me for wearing a tie. Not so sure what that means. Then she yelled at me again for holding the doors, which she says I have not done in years. Truth be told, usually she got out of the car and headed to wherever we were going, while I got the kids out and brought them in. Tough to open doors when you have your hands full with daughters. Then I got a few of the where have you been for 5 years, spiritual renewal stuff, a question on why I have started to use the common cup, rather than the individuals (not sure why, really, just felt right doing it). Overall a bad experience with her at church.
She is acting more strange again. Lately she has been obsessed with having the OM's children. I have seen more and more baby names looked up in internet history, looking up hospital information, she had a physical and got a prescrip for pre-natal vitamins.
I forgot to mention a couple of other things. Does anyone know of the song "White Horse" by Taylor Swift? Essentially it is a song about a guy who comes to the table too late, and is rejected by her. I guess she is playing this for me. If you get a chance, listen to it. It does hurt, but I probably deserve it.
Another thing. For some reason, she mentioned that although I never thought so (which is a lie), but plenty of men find her attractive. Yes, she is right. I gave up on letting her know how special and beautiful she is. It never got received. I never got thanked for it. She never thought any expression of what I thought of her was honest. I just gave up after a while. I never thought any other woman matched her. So many times I remember being shopping with her and just watching her from across the store, thinking she was the most beautiful woman anywhere, amazed that she was here with me. (note to others... DONT GIVE UP ON MAKING HER FEEL BEAUTIFUL!!!!) Is there any other reason she should say this other than to hurt me?
No1wife2kids, I got to get this off my chest, your W is a coward, dude! No disrespect, but what the hell? You seem like the kinda guy that can really communicate (as evident by your posts & which most men seem to lack), while she sounds as if though she is being quite immature!
The only thought that came to my mind right away was that you need to write to her, letters, the way you write us.
You sound like a good man, obtain some hobbies to stay sane and get a therapist. I should probably follow my own advice.
Thanks for the comments and I love your last line. I appreciate the support, but the level of communication and expression is only recently arrived for me. I was pretty locked up and that is what caused this problem between me and W. However, I never cheated, I never abused, I just did not support the way I should have. She is the one that decided to say yes to a date. Part of me doesn't blame her after 5 years. However that is is pretty small part, as my vows mean something to me.
I will be spending time for myself, as that is the only way I can support myself. I am going to focus my time on being the person that I want to be, the person that I actually am. Not the one that lived up to false expectations.
She is acting more strange again. Lately she has been obsessed with having the OM's children. I have seen more and more baby names looked up in internet history, looking up hospital information, she had a physical and got a prescrip for pre-natal vitamins.
A Dr. Appt AND an Rx for pre-natal vitamins?
Kinda staring you in the face here....you sure she's not pregnant by the OM?
Just thinking... It seems since this started, she is getting more dependent. On me, and on the OM. I would have thought being the one filing for divorce, you should be gaining freedom and wanting to exercise more independence. She is more clingy and crabby. I'm just trying to do what I have to do for myself and the two monkies...
One more thing. I thing she needs to be straightened out. Put your foot down, if you can (I can't believe I just said that- I sound like my husband). No more OM stuff, that's so disrespectful to you. She should at least have the courtesy to wait until the D is finalized, unless she's trying to make you jealous, which she very well may, she sounds immature!
My husband would have a field day with this. Also, you know what my husband always tickles the hell out of me when we fight, perhaps y'all should develop some sort of stress relief.
I am beginning to see things Airee's way...the way she is flaunting all this does sound like she is TRYING awful hard for you to see what she is doing and thinking.
Either this woman is not in her right mind or she is really does want you to be jealous. For one...having an affair even if it isn't physical does not look good during a divorce. Her attorney would have had to advise her of this....and so she would know that any judge would look down on that.
Come on...prenatal vitamines..baby names.....who does this? Think about it....most people try to hide affairs....sometimes even after the divorce is final.....cause there reallly never is an excuse. So....why would she want you to know this stuff?
Yes, Airee, I guess I do. Only, with all this going on, I am not sure I really want the fight any more. I really think this is a train wreck that just has to happen. Pretty much I can't speak to her about any of this. It is just not worth the agressiveness that comes out. We can do things about the house, or groceries, or things like that.
I have hurt her too deep. I am going to send an email to her mom about this, as not only do I think it is strange, I really don't want her to get hurt. The way she is talking, a few months after D is final, they will be married. Then family starts. I just really believe that is nuts. No matter what happens to us, I don't want her to get even more messed up. She has not been completely open about the baby stuff, but she is not good at hiding things. Notes left on counter... that sort of thing. My guess on the vitamins is that near the end, she will fill the scrip. That way, insurance gets to pay for it. She won't be able to afford it and I don't think his is like mine.
I tried to write, a couple of times. She just does not believe me. Remember, this is going on 5 years here. I think it has just gone on too far too deeply and I have no trust left. No faith left. I can't say as I blame her.
Re: My wife filed... Dazed and confused 
A
