Re: Married 12 years - no sex for last 8 of them!
Also, I wanted to say, i'm sure that you did not start with low self-esteem.....it comes from years of being with someone who is selfishly ignoring your needs. This is a coping mechanism, to assume you deserve it and that is how people stay in marriages so long that they may not be happy in. You tried your hardest and you don't need to cope with him any longer...I agree with others though that you need to regain your self-confidence.
Even if you have a rockin body, working out can help this. A sex therapist may also be helpful, to become comfortable with your own sexuality again that has been gone for so long--or at least the expression of it! Also, starting to try new things in your life can help you determine who YOU are--which is essential in starting fresh.
Finally, he may come crawling back once he sees that you are your own person again......DON'T LET HIM! You need someone who is there for you and sees you through in good times and bad.