05-07-2013, 07:15 PM
Join Date: May 2013
| | Confused...what is he really thinking?
I'll try to make this as short as possible with as much detail as necessary because I really could use some sound advice. H and I have been together almost 10 years. Things were rocky in the beginning before marriage but we still went through with things. After marriage, all of the things that had been an issue before intensified.
I know that I'm wrong for this but I did it and H found out. I met a guy online (never face-to-face meeting) but spent lots of time emailing and talking on the phone over two months. Not to make excuses but his actions (mainly lying) left me frustrated and so I sought an outlet in another man...I know, not cool. H found out because I had bought another cell phone and he found that receipt. It must have been in the cards for him to find out. He immediately got a storage unit and moved some things out of the house. Two months later, as I was at work, he moved the remainder of his things out of the house. I've since broken off communication with my guy friend.
Here we are almost a month after his move and he's brought clothes back to the house but nothing else. Says he doesn't want to bring things back because he's not ready to be "all in" and needs time to get "his head back in the game." He says divorce is off the table but he's still angry about my behavior.
Am I holding on to false hope that he'll be back 100%? I understand the pain of infidelity because he's done it to me. The issues that existed before and even during our marriage are serious issues, but at this point, I'm not focused on them. I really want to work through those and build a solid relationship, but of course I can't build a solid relationship alone. I just need advice or opinions on what really is going on in head. I would hate to be used at this point or mislead but I feel that is exactly what's happening. I'm not minimizing my inappropriate relationship with the OM, but I also don't think my indiscretion equals all of his.