Heartbroken
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Going Through Divorce or Separation A new addition to our forums, a place to go for sharing and support for those going through divorce and separation.

Like Tree141Likes

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 05-11-2013, 05:51 PM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 97
Default Heartbroken

My life is over. H wants a divorce and to split assets. I'm 37, no kids, no future really. I'm contemplating suicide.
veronicawalls is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 05-11-2013, 06:11 PM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
tacoma's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 5,248
Default Re: Heartbroken

Why does he want to divorce ?
Posted via Mobile Device
tacoma is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-11-2013, 06:14 PM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 97
Default Re: Heartbroken

Things have been very bad for awhile. I made my bed, I guess I have to lie in it.
veronicawalls is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-11-2013, 06:31 PM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: northeast USA
Posts: 1,715
Default Re: Heartbroken

That's not much to go on. What do you mean you made your bed - you have to lie in it. You're 37? Your life is far from over. If you give more information I'm sure someone here can help.
smallsteps is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-11-2013, 06:34 PM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 97
Default Re: Heartbroken

Married 4 years...not really happy for most of it. Things were always all about him and his career, his choices, etc. At least I felt that way. We never fought fair. I don't like fighting, and he loves to fight.

In a very vulnerable state, I entered into a very short-lived affair with a co-worker. Horrible, terrible mistake. H found out and wants a divorce. I'm heartbroken

So yes, I'm getting everything I deserve.
veronicawalls is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-11-2013, 06:41 PM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
tacoma's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 5,248
Default Re: Heartbroken

So he is adamant about the divorce ?
No chance he would want to reconcile?

What have you done to show him you want to fix it or does he not care?
Posted via Mobile Device
tacoma is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-11-2013, 06:44 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 97
Default Re: Heartbroken

Well...we are two days in. He found out because he was spying on my text messages. I haven't seen him since he discovered the affair.

He's pretty adamant that he wants out.

I've cut off all contact with affair partner. So do not want anything to do with him...
veronicawalls is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-11-2013, 06:49 PM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 97
Default Re: Heartbroken

I have told him that I am willing to do whatever it takes to work things out.
veronicawalls is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-11-2013, 06:59 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
catch22gofigure's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 937
Default Re: Heartbroken

Quote:
Originally Posted by veronicawalls View Post
My life is over. H wants a divorce and to split assets. I'm 37, no kids, no future really. I'm contemplating suicide.
Though it hurts like the ****ens the pain you feel is temporary. Please, I beg of you don't make a permanent decision on a temporary situation. I dont know the full story; but we're near the same age. Im separated and it sucks; but you have to take on the mindset that though he has dictated your life thus far, you CAN'T allow him to author its end. Get some counseling, call over a friend/relative..something. whi knows what the future holds. All requests for divorce, don't end in one. It will surely end if you do harm and are no longer here when that moment could come where he says, i changed my mind ..let's work on it. PM me if need be, i just want to make sure you're ok.
catch22gofigure is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-11-2013, 07:04 PM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 97
Default Re: Heartbroken

I feel like all of my dreams of kids and a good life have vanished, so why not just get it over with
veronicawalls is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-11-2013, 07:22 PM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: northeast USA
Posts: 1,715
Default Re: Heartbroken

Quote:
Originally Posted by veronicawalls View Post
I feel like all of my dreams of kids and a good life have vanished, so why not just get it over with
Because women have kids into their 40's now and you never know what is around the corner. I know it feels like there is no hope but trust me there is!!!! I'm 44 & had my ex walk out after almost 25 years. It was only four months ago but I'm better now than when I was with him. I didn't feel that way in the first weeks after he left - I did nothing but cry - but it does get better. You made a mistake - give him some space & time to process what happened. Maybe when things calm down he'll be willing to talk.
smallsteps is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-11-2013, 07:35 PM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
tacoma's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 5,248
Default Re: Heartbroken

You're young veronica, you can have all the things you want with another man if your H does divorce you.

Has he asked you anything about the affair?

What exactly has he said to you?
__________________
As far as love...the only thing you will regret in life is the risks you never took.
-mineforever
tacoma is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-11-2013, 07:36 PM   #13 (permalink)
Member
 
maincourse99's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 452
Default Re: Heartbroken

Yes, give it time. His feelings are very raw right now.
maincourse99 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-11-2013, 08:02 PM   #14 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 97
Default Re: Heartbroken

Should I just leave him alone? My knee jerk is to just be with him, but I don't understand men sometimes.

He said that he doesn't know if he will ever trust me again, he doesn't know who I am anymore.
veronicawalls is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-11-2013, 08:14 PM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: northeast USA
Posts: 1,715
Default Re: Heartbroken

You need to give him time - that was a big blow to him. Trying to push will drive him further away. Take the high road & tell him you're sorry & you will respect his space but know that you would like to try to fix things. Its really all you can do right now.
smallsteps is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
heartbroken fivewastedyears Going Through Divorce or Separation 2 06-09-2012 09:47 PM
HeartBroken..... lee1973 Dealing with Grief and Loss 0 07-23-2011 03:44 AM
heartbroken flowerlily The Ladies' Lounge 2 04-21-2010 11:48 PM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:13 PM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.