12-24-2009, 07:21 AM
Join Date: Apr 2009
| | Re: The REAL world
Believe: Whatever you decide, at this point, isn't going to make THAT much of a difference (Christmas wise). Obviously, your D wants him to be a part.
After the holidays, I would have a serious heart to heart. Tell you H, how much you love him and how this hurts. I would then describe your boundaries. If he wants in, then he needs to fully work on the marriage and commit to staying together.
He's had enough time to "think about it" either he works on somethiing (himself/the marriage) or he stays away from you as much as possible. Putting your foot down, my give him a feeling that you aren't taking this in 2010. Either he is going to have a marriage or he's going to be a single dad sleeping on someone's couch. Let him figure it out.
This conversation should be as kind and thoughful as possilbe. Firm is something you should get across to him. You mean business.
I say these things to force the issue. After reading these boards and my own life, I think at a point you have to force the issue for your sanity.
Good luck believe.