The REAL world

Feelingalone · 12-22-2009, 01:30 PM

Keep going CW. You are right logic to emotion isn't worth trying.

Believe · 12-22-2009, 06:29 PM

I wore my ring all the time as well. It has meant alot to me and it was very hard to take it off. I constantly found myself turning an imaginary ring with my thumb. So I did get myself some stackable rings and I wear those on that finger. It felt so bare. I wear my original wedding band on my right hand now. No one ever asks so. I love seeing old pictures of my H with his wedding band on. He took his off 10 months before he even left.

knortoh · 12-22-2009, 08:08 PM

Hey Believe - great to hear from you - how's it going?

Corpuswife · 12-22-2009, 09:09 PM

Hi believe! Glad you are back...

That's a good idea about the right hand and the wedding ring...

Believe · 12-23-2009, 06:13 PM

Awww shucks guys

you missed me.
Things over here are same ol same ol. I am coming up to the big one year mark on New Years Eve. Ugh!
I do have a ? for you guys though.
I am planning a get together for xmas eve like I do every year. I even invited my brother and sister in law. I did not officially invite my H. However it appears he is planning on coming over. He asked if he could bring a turkey or something. I said oh I didn't know what your plans were, I figured you would work late and then be too tired. Then he tells me that our D asked him to sleep over.
What should I do? He will never know what he is missing if he is not missing out? He has been all flirty this week too. (playin me)

Loving Husband · 12-23-2009, 06:28 PM

Well by a year's time if he hasn't missed out not sure he will.. Yet it seems like he is trying to make a connection with you. What that is I don't know. You'll see eventually. \

Believe · 12-23-2009, 06:33 PM

That's half the problem, for the last year he is there all the time. we see more of him now than when he lived with us. Maybe because he doesn't want to go home. Which by the way is sleeping on someone's living room couch. He picks up the kids most weeknights and feeds them, bathes them and helps put them to sleep. Then he leaves to go to sleep. Grrrrrr! He was there for Thanksgiving too. but then when he left early my D was very sad.

knortoh · 12-24-2009, 06:45 AM

Believe whatever happens enjoy your Christmas...........
we all deserve to

Corpuswife · 12-24-2009, 07:21 AM

Believe: Whatever you decide, at this point, isn't going to make THAT much of a difference (Christmas wise). Obviously, your D wants him to be a part.

After the holidays, I would have a serious heart to heart. Tell you H, how much you love him and how this hurts. I would then describe your boundaries. If he wants in, then he needs to fully work on the marriage and commit to staying together.

He's had enough time to "think about it" either he works on somethiing (himself/the marriage) or he stays away from you as much as possible. Putting your foot down, my give him a feeling that you aren't taking this in 2010. Either he is going to have a marriage or he's going to be a single dad sleeping on someone's couch. Let him figure it out.

This conversation should be as kind and thoughful as possilbe. Firm is something you should get across to him. You mean business.

I say these things to force the issue. After reading these boards and my own life, I think at a point you have to force the issue for your sanity.

Good luck believe.

Corpuswife · 12-24-2009, 06:13 PM

Interesting day. I went to work to a very small amount of coworkers. One of my coworkers, were talking about traditions. I had my first breakdown at work an hour before leaving. She cried with me! Bless her heart.

Then, my husband is driving down my street. We stop and he says "you look beautiful. You really do!" I said "thanks." Then he goes on to say how he had a candle that he left unattended today (accidently) and a door blew open upstairs while he was gone (cold front/windy). He came home to a smoke filled house and couldn't find the fire. He ended up with 8 firemen and a burnt piece of carpet. Lucky but his condo is smokey. He said, after the firemen left he cried and called his best bud. He woke him up and wasn't sympathetic (he laughed when he told this part).

He said he didnt want to go to his parents for Christmas eve (tonight). He said his mom was upset and he agreed to it 2 days ago.

Then, we said "goodbye" as we were in the street parked during this conversation. A UPS truck was behind me.

Then, I pull in my garage and he's pulled in the driveway (he turned around)

He said "anyway...that's what happened." I said "its ok...it could happen to anyone C." I've left candles on myself.

He hugged me (both arms) and kept hugging. He looks like poop.

Feelingalone · 12-24-2009, 06:16 PM

CW, he is realizing what he is missing --- you. Maybe you will get a great Christmas gift, a new beginning.

Merry Christmas.

Corpuswife · 12-24-2009, 06:25 PM

He's in pain and seeks my comfort.

I am HIS best friend, no matter what he thinks. I am his pillar of strength. He doesn't have me anymore to turn to....whose fault is it? His.

Mixed signals all around this has been my relationship for 2009.

He misses me and doesn't know how to handle these things.

Divorce in less than 2 weeks and he misses me.

Ash22 · 12-24-2009, 09:02 PM

Thinking of you CW!! Merry Christmas and eat a tamale for me...

Corpuswife · 12-26-2009, 06:05 PM

Hi guys! I just got a call from my brother in law that my h's dad is going to the hospital via ambulance (chest pains). My H was driving to the hill country (4 hours away) and is turning around.

I can't believe the how my H is being knocked around. He's has a condo fire Christmas Eve and now this.

It's a nasty way to realize that you stick with the one's that care and love you. That you need people who love you. And life is too short to make your own problems.

I see this all as a wake up call. This isn't his first one but it certainly is getting to be a crisis point for him.

lost1234 · 12-26-2009, 06:12 PM

oh my C! i know those feeling all to well... good luck, i hope all is ok with him.