09-24-2009, 11:57 PM
Join Date: Apr 2008
| | Re: mediation process vs. court
thanks for your input both of you. I did alittle research on the web to find some mediateors in our area. My husband said he would call a few.
We have a court order already in place for child support ( due to him having a child with another woman & I wanted to protect myself) until I knew what I wanted to do with our marriage.
I look back now & think - what was I thinking? How did I think I could continue to be married to him & then have the constant reminder of his infidelity with his other child still in the picture ( & her mother - their relationship has since soured ) .
When I consulted & hired a lawyer to do the support paperwork we discussed the various items that would have to be decided if we did divorce ( real estate division, assests, child custody & support, tax credits, holidays, etc) so I have a basic idea of somethings we will need to put onto paper. And my husband & I discussed a few of the above when we met a few weeks ago & seem to be on the same page with most items.
Do you recommend consulting with a lawyer prior to mediation - to know your rights & be informed ( that is usually my style - knowledge is power - right?).
I have been procrastinating getting this whole process moving - someone need to kick me in the butt. I guess because I realize the "finality" of our marriage once we take this step. It has been a heart wreching decision but something I know needs to be done.
I still care deeply for my husband & can be friendly with him but can no longer trust him like I used or should be able to as a spouse. There have just been too many lies, betrayal, deceit & another child- that can't be undone.
I guess the fear of the unknown has kept me from acting. But I need to do this - so I can move on. wish me luck