Life after "the one"

AbcDEEHefG · 02-28-2008, 09:55 AM

Hi, my name is Heidi. I'm a mother of two, and pregnant with my third. The father of my kids left me last week for an affair with a woman at work, and I AM OKAY. I want all of you to know one thing, no matter how bad it hurts, if only one person wants to work things out, let the other one go. You will begin to see the sun come out, and understand that what that other person said in the past about "forever" and "love" was NOT real. If you're going to be happy, start by being happy with yourself. YOUR LIFE. Your kids. Your family. Your friends. All the things and people that didn't come first when you had a spouse. May God bless all of you, and if any of you need to talk, please let me know. If I can get through this, there is no reason that you can't look at my life, and take strength from me. That is why I'm sharing this with you, because when I needed strength, God, my family and friends carried me. If this gives you any kind of empowerment, then my job is done. In the long run, you will see, that loving someone means never having to hurt them when it's in your control.

draconis · 03-02-2008, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AbcDEEHefG

Hi, my name is Heidi. I'm a mother of two, and pregnant with my third. The father of my kids left me last week for an affair with a woman at work, and I AM OKAY. I want all of you to know one thing, no matter how bad it hurts, if only one person wants to work things out, let the other one go. You will begin to see the sun come out, and understand that what that other person said in the past about "forever" and "love" was NOT real. If you're going to be happy, start by being happy with yourself. YOUR LIFE. Your kids. Your family. Your friends. All the things and people that didn't come first when you had a spouse. May God bless all of you, and if any of you need to talk, please let me know. If I can get through this, there is no reason that you can't look at my life, and take strength from me. That is why I'm sharing this with you, because when I needed strength, God, my family and friends carried me. If this gives you any kind of empowerment, then my job is done. In the long run, you will see, that loving someone means never having to hurt them when it's in your control.

Said very well, kudos.

draconis

KirstenHere · 03-16-2008, 11:38 AM

My story is long, so I won't bother with all the details. In short, my husband left me 3 days ago in the middle of the night, stole all my money, and is a heavy, and I do mean heavy, pot smoker. I recently got diagnosed with Lupus and life has been pretty hard for me. He was my best friend, and thought was my soul mate. This is not the first time he has left, but will be the last. I'm devasted, but hanging in there. Most of my problems now are financial, since he took over 700 bucks, which was all the money I had to my name. I have three kids that are not his, ages 17, 19, and 21, they all live at home. Having them here for sure helps me. Night times are the worse, though I'm sure you know. I find myself taking Ambien more than I should and that scares me. I also take vicidon for my pain which he also stole. That probabaly broke my heart more than anything. He knew the pain I go through, but took them anyhow.
I did talk to him about 1 in the morning the night he left. He told me he was so wasted and just needed to sleep. He also proceeded to tell me that he was miserable (with himself I'm sure) and neede to go west. The thing that does worry me is that he had called a cab and never caught it. A part of me is worried he is dead, but he has ran all his life and has great survivor skills. I do believe he has some kind of mental illness. Life was pretty good for us, besides my illness. We just had a new Grandbaby and that brought a lot of joy to our lives. He made good money, we just bought a house, a new car, there was nothing to really complain about besides the fact that I was always on him about getting high. He'd wake up in the morning and get high and stay high all day long. So yea, I did nag about that, which in return made me nag about other things considering he did nothing around the house. I'm scared of my future and have a fear of being alone. I DID make it to church this morning which was a true blessing. We both went to church for about 3 years and believed greatly in God. Our church fell apart last summer and our pastor, who was my husbands best friend, betrayed us very greatly. He lost all his faith, I still believed and hung on to some faith but rarely put God in my life.
Anyways, I'm rambling. I would LOVE to make some friends that know what I'm going through and can help me out on those days that seem worthless. Thanks for listening.

tater03 · 03-16-2008, 12:39 PM

Firstly, I cannot say I know what you are feeling at the moment or going through. I just want to say that you guys are so strong and it is nice to know that there is a way to get through it. This is a great forum with a lot of nice people that will be more than willing to just listen when you need to vent and offer advice when asked. Please take care and welcome to the forum.

draconis · 03-17-2008, 05:49 PM

Life is much like a rollercoaster even after you go far down there is always a time when you swing back up. If things are at there worst fear not they can not go down, otherwise that your lucky stars that other things can go wrong that haven't.

draconis