It's dying...
My husband and I have been married for 12 years, before that, we were high school sweethearts. We have been through so much together, and I always believed that the times that don't tear us apart will keep us closer together. We have three great kids, two boys and a girl, and it's now, to make a long story short, to the point that we are just merely coexisting. I haven't said anything to him for a week, except when I have to. He has actually taken my lead and been the same. Since when does he ever do that?
I have grown very tired of sacrificing for his happiness while he and his family continues to disrespect and insult me. He has been using the little self esteem I have as an excuse for his behavior. His calling me names has hurt me so much and I can never just forget about it.
I told him that one day, he's going to hurt me again, and there won't be any tears left. For many years, he has been everything to me, and he has always known that. He has taken me for granted and abused the loyalty and faith that I have kept strong for our marriage.
I believe with all of my heart that God has brought us together, and I have thanked him so many times for him. I grew up with a mother who abused alchohol and drugs and married and divorced more than you can count on one hand, so it's quite a bit scary.
We have had our ups and downs and I have seriously considered ending it before, but it has never been this bad. Because, there are no more tears left. I can't believe it, but it's true. How do I end something that is God-given?
I have made an appointment with a therapist to help clear all of the smoke and get to what is really going on. What I do know is that I refuse to take any medication that will change my way of thinking and turn my husband from a frog to a prince!
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