My New Beginning

knortoh · 10-19-2009, 11:18 PM

FA - what's going on ?

Feelingalone · 10-20-2009, 06:01 AM

CW and K, yes it appears there most likely is another OM -- the weekend OM. I now believe that is who was at the amusment park. He was with her and son on Sunday. Doesn't live in this state, lives in her home state.

Yes, CW remember what I said about similar patterns and how it started between her and I. Looking the same.

knortoh · 10-20-2009, 06:09 AM

Far out!!!!!!!!!!

Feelingalone · 10-20-2009, 07:10 AM

Well my son now knows about our future. He took it pretty well and well as to be expected. So sad, so sad.

knortoh · 10-20-2009, 07:24 AM

Just keep talking to him, being honest, be yourself ...sorry for sadness

Feelingalone · 10-20-2009, 08:16 AM

K, it was sad, but a relief to an extent for me. At least he knows now. I don't think it sunk in because didn't use the D word. That will follow shortly I'm sure. But he understands things will be different moving forward.

wren · 10-20-2009, 09:17 AM

God, FA. I'm sorry. No one deserves this. I'm glad you can talk to your son.

Feelingalone · 10-20-2009, 09:21 AM

Its ok Wren, I do feel a sense of relief for his knowledge. Obviously not the reasons. I just told him it wasn't anything he did, just that mom and dad can't get along right now, but that we both love him very much.

Corpuswife · 10-20-2009, 10:25 AM

FA: I know the relief. It will allow him to process everything and ask questions along the way. As adults we get to process things along the way. Then often we pounce the info. on our kids expecting them to "get it." He will have some questions...I am sure.

In Jan. I told my kids that we were having troubles and were working on them with a MC. I figured if anything happened it wouldn't be a total surprise.

Then in June we told them of the divorce. In mid July he moved out. They are still processing. So am I.

I can't believe your wife. I guess if she started visiting her parents more often....you'll get it. I'm sure she is telling your son that these guys are friends?

Feelingalone · 10-20-2009, 10:45 AM

I guess. Who knows what she tells him. I can tell though at times when he is with me he is upset about something, but won't tell me what it is. I suspect that is the reason.

It will all back fire on her at some point. I will try to stay above the fray in all of this.

Corpuswife · 10-20-2009, 11:42 AM

It will backfire...there is no doubt about it.

Many folks go with the path of least resistance. You wife seems to be one of those. However, that path is sometimes a dead end.

You are amazing person FA...keep loving your son and discovering yourself. You are going to do OK.

I look at my life in a year. It has to be better than now. It is already better than 3 months ago.

knortoh · 10-20-2009, 12:31 PM

In my experience kids go through a 'kid' version of what you go through - sadness, grief, confusion, etc they will continue to process and occasionally come out with some questions - it's a chance for you guys to become emotionally closer - sad but true...

Feelingalone · 10-20-2009, 02:54 PM

I'm not amazing CW that is for sure. If I was, I wouldn't be here. But I'm working on it. Yes as I told my father today, I will be able to discuss relationships with Harrison unlike he did with me. For that I am thankful. I'm just so full of hatred for her and I don't like it. I just want it all to be over with at this point. It is so hard to let go that last little bit of hope -- but it will be gone soon........

Corpuswife · 10-20-2009, 05:33 PM

The hatred part can eat you alive. You know this already.

I haven't been too angry with my H. I see him as flawed in need of help. A lost soul. With those thoughts in my mind, I give him the empathy that I would for anyone. It's almost that I am separating the person from the husband.

Part of the fact is that I see him as having a more difficult in life than I will have...his future isn't going to be fulfilling. Because I love him, that makes me feel sad. Someone that I love is hurting and there is nothing that I can do. I'm helpless.

Feelingalone · 10-20-2009, 07:17 PM

I just with you were my wife CW, an understanding person, with the ability to be empathetic. If she was even a tenth of you, we would be working it out together. But alas, she isn't. And that will undo any future relationship. She can't let anger go and adds every incident to a list and keeps track -- that is what wells up inside of her every time.