My New Beginning

Feelingalone · 10-22-2009, 08:09 AM

Well my little guy is starting to put together things. See I'm leaving the family home and she already has. I've been slowly moving things out over the last few weeks. I just can't stay here.

Although I told him this Tuesday morning in his mother's presence it didn't click in what that meant. Last night while I had him it came together because of some things that weren't here. He was so sad, because this is the only house he has ever known in his life. He was like can't we move back in some time. I'm like no we can't. Well you could move in with mom and me -- again no I can't. I just reassured him that life comes with many moves and explained to him how many times I moved in my life and that the house isn't important but the family and love. I reassured him that both myself and his mother loved him very much and that he was not at fault. But he was so upset. I had to tickle him and stay with him a while until he fell asleep. He cried, and I cried.

My new life is beginning, that of a single dad. At least I have a beautiful son whom I love very much.

Corpuswife · 10-22-2009, 09:03 AM

FA: He'll take some time to process this information. He'll always be with you...that is the treasure that we take.

knortoh · 10-22-2009, 02:41 PM

FA sounds like a great deal of emotional honesty going on between you and your son......

Feelingalone · 10-22-2009, 02:56 PM

But not total honesty K. Obviously I can't tell him everything that is going on but I am trying to relay to him my experiences in life. Something my father never did until recently. My father, even when around, just didn't say much of anything.

Obviously the w hasn't said a word to him about anything. I think it is guilt because if he knew we weren't together he would start questioning her about the "friends".

So sad on her part.

knortoh · 10-22-2009, 03:05 PM

Yeah I know - you can only give him a kid version of the events - but what I meant was that you guys crying together is emotional honesty - but you probably got what I meant...

Feelingalone · 10-22-2009, 03:12 PM

Yeah never did that with my dad. I told him it was okay to be sad and cry that I did the first time I moved. Of course I moved to another state etc. Right now he will be in the same school with the same friends etc. which won't make it so rought, except for his eventual revelation of no more mommy and daddy as a couple.

Corpuswife · 10-22-2009, 07:11 PM

It's great that he stays in the same community and same school. It will help give him some consistency in his life.

Feelingalone · 10-22-2009, 08:05 PM

Yes CW that is why I'm letting him be with W during the week. So he has a place he can call home for the most part. It sucks for me, but I want him to have a stable environment regarding school.

And since we don't know about where he will be next year for school, one more year of continuity won't hurt. School boundaries are changing in our area. Big meetings and such just came about three weeks ago and they are tyring to screw our area. He goes to the best elementary school around here, but it became "overcrowded" this year. Physically the facility has no room for growth or even temp buildings. So the first option is to pair about 120 kids from his school (from one of the more affluent areas of the city) with the kids from the worst elementary around. They are trying to ram rod it down quickly by next Tuesday.

Finally there are alternative plans which change lines for about 4 schools in total but would create an overall better mix. Sorry to rant, but this came out of no where just 2 weeks ago.

Anyway, to CW, Wren, Knortoh (I know you are in Australia and all ), but I invite you all to NC for Turkey day because I know I could use good company and you guys are good company. As CW said, you keep her sane, well you keep me treading water. So come on down. We might deep fry a turkey this year.......

By the way I won't be cooking. Although I love to cook -- or at least try --- my mother is an excellent cook so why even try to compete during the holidays. And I can tell you what, she is the best pie maker ever. Pennsylvania dutch homemade pies.

She learned from my dad's grandmother who was an amazing lady. I miss her, she taught me a lot when I was small. Just glad that I knew her. She did it all. Cooked. Kept her own garden until she was 90. She quilted like no other. She made me some special blankets which I've never used -- just came across them in the move. Sorry, just remembering a strong, compassionate woman that I loved dearly. I miss you Addy. Wish you were here.

Corpuswife · 10-22-2009, 09:33 PM

My gosh...that was a beautiful post! My heart was warmed with you speaking of your great grandmother and inviting us to Turkey Day!

I was close to my grandmother. She was really a wonderful hard working woman. A sweet role model for me. She always gave me the feeling of how it was to be loved.

I LOVE turkey and the works...it's very tempting. Who knows what Thanksgiving will hold? I may be divorced mid Nov. I may have a new job. I may take a trip to NC.

I think the school redistricting is quite common. They are doing it here also. My D goes to a suburban school...no chance of it being redistricted. It messes with everyone or at least their heads for awhile.

wren · 10-22-2009, 09:40 PM

Since I live in NC, it's even more reason to come for a visit!

Feelingalone · 10-23-2009, 03:31 AM

Wren, howdy neighbor. Are you down east or west?

Loving Husband · 10-23-2009, 07:51 AM

FA... When my wife and I did this 5 years ago my D was only 3 and she was being bounced back and forth.. I don't think she knew anything was up.. Then again my D is oblivious to almost anything even to this day. I would have broken down if I had to talk to her like that. Would have given me more fight for the marriage. I know my SIL kept pushing me..

Feelingalone · 10-23-2009, 08:30 AM

LH,

She isn't invested in the marriage at this time at all. She had or has two OMs, so I'm not sure how to fight anymore.

Loving Husband · 10-23-2009, 09:04 AM

I agree your situation is worse.. It's all depends on how forgiving you are. I couldn't.. For me that would have been the straw. The fact you are still some what in it is amazing...

wren · 10-23-2009, 09:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Feelingalone

Wren, howdy neighbor. Are you down east or west?

Down east for now. Who knows where I'll end up after this is all said and done, eh?