The WHOLE weekend...

lost1234 · 11-02-2009, 07:33 AM

ok that says it all...went to a dinner/ concert show Friday...to start off...h spent fri,sat and sun with us...soooo enjoyable! he said several times about having to go...had a lot to do...but he never went anywhere until this morning, Monday...and that was to work...
im trying not to over react or read too much into it. the kids loved having him NOT working and i just have butterflies of excitement. i felt so many emotions...good ones...
for the past 4 months, when he has said he has to go...i get sick everytime. something held him here, I would like to know what...im pretty sure he misses us...his life...any thoughts???
im gonna continue today as usual and try not to expect anything...it was very comforting though!

Corpuswife · 11-02-2009, 09:35 AM

Continue on...good luck on trying not to expect anything! haha

This is terrific news that he's still wanting that attachment.

Why do you think he's had this turn around? Was it after the vacation?

lost1234 · 11-02-2009, 01:39 PM

C,
I have no idea...i thing a bit of everything...

Corpuswife · 11-02-2009, 01:42 PM

You know..their feelings change so quick! Like Loving Husband said his wife went from wanting nothing to do with him 2 months ago...to loving him totally now.

These are confused people.

lost1234 · 11-02-2009, 06:14 PM

C,
He just left again to go to an atheletic assoc. meeting. After watching him closely today...im thinking mostly our daughters. they were such different little people with him here all weekend.
I also believe he is seeing the changes in me, which is great because most of them are second nature now. how is LH doing??

Corpuswife · 11-02-2009, 06:24 PM

He's doing really well with his wife. Look at the General Discussion board and catch up. He's really patient and a hard worker that LH!

Nothing will make your D's happier than to have their parents together.

When my H made dinner the other night for everyone. He hugged me and my D walked in...I could see her perk up immediately.

lost1234 · 11-07-2009, 07:32 AM

well this w/e is the opposite! we had a family dinner and b-day cake at inlaws last night. he chose to stay there. drives me nuts this back and forth.
If he could only see the difference in our girls when it is simply his presence that completely gives them such stability and that safe feeling they need and deserve!
Im worn out! we are going out to dinner tonight with a few friends so we will see what that brings...
how is it that h can claim what he needs and feels but he cant see what his family is enduring because of it?

Corpuswife · 11-07-2009, 08:39 AM

Good question LOST. I wish I REALLY knew that answer. It's seems very selfish doesn't it? It is. Part selfish and part not knowing how to resolve their issues-they are looking for something!

I know it took a lot of pain for my husband to bring up his unhappiness (finally). I know that it took alot to say words like no longer "in love" or "not attracted" to me (NG). I also know it took alot of pain and processing to come to the conclusion that he wanted a divorce.

The problem is...he is thinking how unhappy or unsatified he is with his life or relationship. He is thinking that he should feel a certain way about me (butterflies). He is thinking that he SHOULD have fun and enjoyment. The problem is nothing for the past year has given him enjoyment (work, sports, family) except our D.

That tells me that it wasn't just me. He just doesn't get it though. You can try to convince them that it's their attitude or their problem. They see that "yes, it a problem because our marriage is a problem."

I don't know about you LOST...I had a pretty darn good marriage. Maybe we could have had more intimacy. Maybe a bit more fun and mutual activities. I had issues as well. But heck...we've been married for almost 25 years. This is not a flawless relationship. He's living in a surreal world.

He will be surprised.

lost1234 · 11-07-2009, 01:59 PM

I couldnt agree more C! with h it is the low hormone levels, depression, moods and everything else that falls under the category as far as emotions and feelings.
I sit quite a bit with our girls watching and listening as we are doing whatever it may be, and it gives me the strength to keep this up for them...also knowing from his doctor, that this is partly a medical issue that he can not control...I thank God everyday that most of my issues have been resolved and that my health has been good...
He is not mean, degrading or even inconsiderate...not purposely.I keep going bcause I am the only one seeing and acting on keeping our family together.
I do not mean to sound condecending, for right now I am still much better off then many, so I try not to complain...its just soooo damn frustrating!

Corpuswife · 11-07-2009, 08:18 PM

I know Lost...we each are living a different heartbreak and frustration. It always can be worse. I see yours as positive but you will need much patience....