Dragging things out...
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Old 11-15-2009, 12:27 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Dragging things out...

He left on Sept 27. Under what I would term the worst of circumstances.

He had planned on moving out for almost a year, but said he felt guilty about leaving me high and dry. As time wore on, however, he started feeling more trapped and just wanted out.

His 17 yr old son beat me up and he tried to parlay that into a 'she did it' excuse despite my concussion etc and the fact the 17 yr old didn't have any marks on him. So he runs out the door screaming at me, taking his two kids and leaving our 1 yr old soon as he hears I called the sheriff. long story short, the 17 yr old is facing felony assault charges and the ex is facing retaliation charges (based on what he did after) sigh. this is NOT how i wanted this to end.

We have only seen each other a few times and under the worst of circumstances, two of which meant I ended up having to call the sheriff to escort him off the premises.

There is no custody in place. no papers. He keeps hinting he wants full custody of our son (i only asked for joint custody, despite everything)

He keeps demanding to see HIS son (his? i thought he was ours) He will sometimes just ask nicely, which makes me feel like he will be acting human and stop all this bs. He's done everything from begging to whining to demanding etc.

He wants all HIS stuff (mostly mine) my truck, my furniture, my tv etc. Never mind he has no intentions of paying off half our bills, he just wants half of everything. If i try and be reasonable, he just shuts down.

He is still angry, resentful and mean. So I'm just doing my best not to have anything to do with him. He's partying with his friends, even calling me up on Friday night to look for and bring him his costumes so he can go on a party/campout/event thing over the weekend. It was 20.00 in gas, and 10pm at night. I brought over a whole suburban load for him, including books he had in storage and such. Not only did he not help unpack it, I never even got a thank you. Why am I being nice again?

So, despite his promises before of us 'being friends' etc. All I see is his worst side.

He won't discuss custody or visitation or child support other than to hint IF i do everything he says he MIGHT consider joint custody. And he calls ME a control freak? gimme a break.

I have spoken with several atty's and there is simply no way he would be awarded sole custody, but under the circumstances I could probably get it. I still think joint custody with regular visitation would be best for the baby as long as the 17yr old is supervised.

He demands to see HIS baby every week. I have been counseled to offer him a safe haven kids exchange sort of thing or an interim custody arrangement before I let him see the baby. I offer nicely, he refuses. We are at this weird stalemate.

Him angry and hating me, me disgusted and fed up with it all. nothing moving forward, everything stalled.

I just wish things would settle down a bit.
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Old 11-16-2009, 09:20 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dragging things out...

They will over time...the worse sound like it might be over.

Let him hate-useless energy in my book.

You don't sound like a person deserving that emotion. It's his issue afterall.

You sound like a smart woman...eventually things will be settled and your life will be yours.

Hang in there SNIX.
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Old 11-16-2009, 11:56 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dragging things out...

That kind of violence is totally unacceptable. You may want to go for full custody, for the safety of your child.
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