ok friends heres the latest news...HELP!

lost1234 · 11-24-2009, 07:47 AM

i am in need of desperate help here!

b4 h moved out back in August, we had been looking for a new place to make our home.Lots of problems with our rental. The problems continue to get worse...
2 weeks ago WE went to look at a home about a mile away, same school for the girls so the adjustment should be ok for them.
my h showed so much interest and excitement.
I simply dropped the subject to see what would happen...
right or wrong thing to have done i dont know...
h has made ALL necessary arrangements to now move THIS weekend for 12/1.
OMG...I feel relief as to what a good thing ALL the way around.

WRONG. when I ask h if he is moving in with us, he says not yet. He can stay where he is as long as he NEEDS to...

WTF??????

Could someone help me here? what am i missing???

Would he be doing this if he had no intention of ever coming home?????

D8zed · 11-24-2009, 07:57 AM

"Would he be doing this if he had no intention of ever coming home?????"

Sure. And if he's a "nice guy", it makes him feel good to be so helpful in fixing the rental issue for you. It doesn't mean anything has changed for him emotionally except maybe he doesn't have quite so much guilt because you will be living in a nice new place.

Sorry to be so blunt but him doing these things does not necessarily mean he is having a change of heart.

Corpuswife · 11-24-2009, 08:22 PM

D8zd: You may have it pegged! I think you are my H in disguise. haha. Also, what suggestions do you have for Lost and how should she behave around him? This may also help me.

Lost: Continue as always. No pushing. Are you busy with activities on your own? I guess what I am saying is...not to be too available and waiting for him.

lost1234 · 11-24-2009, 10:13 PM

C, thanks!

yes, i have been keeping myself as busy as i can...with and every so often without the girls.

just kills me, im feeling lost all over again!

D8zed · 11-25-2009, 07:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Corpuswife

D8zd: You may have it pegged! I think you are my H in disguise. haha. Also, what suggestions do you have for Lost and how should she behave around him? This may also help me.

CW, My advice for Lost is to read *YOUR* posts. You have done a great job of detaching yourself from the outcome. I believe that's important for YOU (emotional healing) and for HIM (encourages him to work on himself to get things figured out and fixed).

Corpuswife · 11-25-2009, 06:53 PM

d8zd: I am honored.

lost1234 · 11-26-2009, 03:59 AM

I have been reading...C i still feel for you as I have all along!

D, thanks for the great advice!

Today is gonna stink! I have been up since 3am...h was here all day yesterday, makes me sad...he left

I will be cooking, he will be getting ready for hunting and in between we will start all of the Christmas decorating with the girls.

go to in laws for dessert...

I HAVE to detach myself, and I understand why. Little by little right now and it MUST take full force after the holidays. i have to hold it together for the girls.

thanks to all! and have the best Thanksgiving you possibly can!

Corpuswife · 11-26-2009, 12:16 PM

Lost: You know what to do. Crisis spurrs on change. If you create a crisis then you will more than likely have change. The problem is when the change isn't exactly what you wanted.

Have a wonderful weekend and enjoy the gift of your kids!!!!