Re: How do you tell mutual friends the news?
Be generous and even handed.
If you feel that you have to tell your side of the story then acknowledge that that is what you are doing and invite them to get his version of events. Say something like "of course there are two sides to every story, and he would probably say......". If you can, express sympathy/concern for how hard it is on him.
1. You look like you're in control and "over it" if you can step back and look at both sides of the equation.
2. You look like a wonderful person if you can effectively say "he hurt me, but I still care about how he is feeling."
3. By not forcing mutual friends to take sides and by inviting them to get his side of the story you are likely to keep more of those friends than if you made them feel uncomfortable and "caught in the middle"
4. Sounding like the bigger person not only makes you look good, it makes you feel goood too and IMO helps the healing process. In a way you are forced to back up you words with actions so you have to BE that bigger person, adn that helps you get over things quicker - plus you will enjoy the admiration that comes with taking the higher ground.
“The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character” - Peter De Vries