Omg i just found out its an affair

betrayed81 · 12-11-2009, 08:19 PM

I just found out shes having an affair on me again! changed her password n got into her myspace shes been seein some guy the whole time and others.

I called her and confronted her and she denied it but its all in writing i copied it 2 my computer hard proof about her telin guys to hook up and pick her up n stuff!

I just called her this morning and tried to ask her to come back i am so stupid what am i thinking? y else would she want a divorce duh!!!

I will never talk to her again no dialogue what so ever till im writing my signature on the papers thats the only time i wanna see her face again!

What in the world is wrong with people? How can it be so easy to treat some one you have had children with,loved,trusted she was my world and she basicly not only kicked me while i was down but dowsed me in gasoline and lit a match.

Im doing my best not to hate her but at this point i have no love for her only pain and my 17 month old daughter thats the only good that came from this!

earlier today i was threading about no contact but i wont haft to worry now shes called my phone but i turned it off and thinkin bout changin my number soon im just so crushed and emotionaly drained god help me!

Im just gonna end with this if you have a good gut feeling and vibe that your w or h is cheatin deffinitly don't count it out cuz its prolly rite! but let me know what you guys think thanx

nice777guy · 12-11-2009, 08:42 PM

Sorry man...

betrayed81 · 12-11-2009, 09:29 PM

yep thanx nice

lost1234 · 12-12-2009, 08:26 AM

so sorry! be strong!

Ash22 · 12-12-2009, 09:33 AM

The situation sucks but now use it to your advantage...she not worth your time anymore. Your doing good...keep moving forward.

As far as gut feelings go? While I'm not advocating everybody just follow their "gut" all the time, I will go out on a limb and say, more than often, in situations regarding your spouse's faithfulness, your gut does tend to be right. It worked that way for me.

betrayed81 · 12-12-2009, 05:25 PM

Thank you guys for your responses, i know shes not worth my tears and thats not why im upset im just so hurt that i dont know what to do with myself!

I deffinitly will be moving on today was i guess my real first day of moving ahead and i can already tell the pain is gonna make it hard but thats the only direction i will me moving and thats ahead!

I will never understand completely why or how she could have done this but good bet shes done it before to others and im sure she will do it again to some one else but what comes around goes around!

As for me im gonna take one day at a time and focus on myself for awhile i understand im the victim and i didnt make her do this but at the same time i just wish i would have had a crystal ball 3 years ago!

I am very glad that i found out though atleast now i have closure and the will to move ahead with out even thinkin about it and that does make it alot easier to move on! thanx again hope anyone else going through similar situations get lucky like me....u will be in my prayers

Corpuswife · 12-13-2009, 06:03 PM

Use your anger to protect yourself. Take care of the business of the divorce.

She isn't honorable. She is selfish. Let her have her fun but "what goes around comes around."

At least you know now.

stompsterbetty · 12-13-2009, 06:41 PM

I hope you are that strong. My husband is on his fourth affair and I keep buying the "I'll change. I love you not her. I wasn't thinking. blah blah" I'm not stupid. I don't know why I keep letting it happen. I'm glad there are people who won't suffer like I do. Stay Strong. I'm getting there.

betrayed81 · 12-13-2009, 08:03 PM

Well betty if they do it once thats one thing but if they do it twice!!!!!thats when u know there no good and you should be running the other way and i know love makes people blind cuz i was but even tho ur blind u can still smell and hear and touch so dont do that 2 urself!

Theres a fine line between blindly loving some one and knowingly letting them destroy ur heart!

getout of it betty you will be glad you did go out and meet some people theres some one out there who will treat you rite and next time if there is one we will have the tools to know when is enough! hope that helps!

believer · 12-18-2009, 01:42 AM

betrayed - again, I never thought I would be telling people that I am happy they are leaving their relationship. My original belief was to fight for your marriage & exhaust all your option but what I was forgetting in that motto was if, your spouse is not putting forth the effort , you can not do it alone & it is time to leave.

you had a good point that if they do it once it might be considered a mistake, but if they do it again, it was no mistake and they will continue to cheat/lie over & over again. Better to get out now & cut your losses and try to move on with your life.
It is unfortunate that your 17 mon old has to deal with this but it is better to do it now vs. later.
good luck and keep moving forward. try to treat any contact with your wife like a "business" transaction.

karajh · 12-19-2009, 01:05 AM

Stay Strong! She is not worth your time! I am with you.. what is wrong with people these days?

betrayed81 · 12-20-2009, 11:30 PM

yes believer yo are rite where im at about the situation hope people on here would just take our advice but atleast i took my own!

Quote:

Originally Posted by believer

betrayed - again, I never thought I would be telling people that I am happy they are leaving their relationship. My original belief was to fight for your marriage & exhaust all your option but what I was forgetting in that motto was if, your spouse is not putting forth the effort , you can not do it alone & it is time to leave.

you had a good point that if they do it once it might be considered a mistake, but if they do it again, it was no mistake and they will continue to cheat/lie over & over again. Better to get out now & cut your losses and try to move on with your life.
It is unfortunate that your 17 mon old has to deal with this but it is better to do it now vs. later.
good luck and keep moving forward. try to treat any contact with your wife like a "business" transaction.

betrayed81 · 12-20-2009, 11:33 PM

I have no idea? i havent spoke 2 her in weeks except that 1 time 2 tell her i was done with the whole thing and i dont haft 2 worry about talkin 2 her bout our daughter cuz my ma is really involved so thats a good thing! i already been talkin 2 other women as friends and went on a date so im fellin pretty good better than i have felt in weeks, ill just keep doin me!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by karajh

Stay Strong! She is not worth your time! I am with you.. what is wrong with people these days?

mrnice · 01-03-2010, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by betrayed81

I have no idea? i havent spoke 2 her in weeks except that 1 time 2 tell her i was done with the whole thing and i dont haft 2 worry about talkin 2 her bout our daughter cuz my ma is really involved so thats a good thing! i already been talkin 2 other women as friends and went on a date so im fellin pretty good better than i have felt in weeks, ill just keep doin me!!!

PM'd you champ.

Im in exactly the same boat. WIfe did it 4 times.

Swan · 01-05-2010, 08:45 AM

I understand and know the pain you're going through. I went through this myself 3 years ago and it still hurts and it was through gut feelings that I discovered my husband's infidelity so I absolutely believe in trusting your gut instincts. I was married for 29 years to someone I thought was a good man, but even good men can hurt and betray you. I even gave up a loved dream career to marry this man, followed him around the world and supported his career. Legally, I'm still married, but in reality it's more of a civility relationship as I refused to wear my wedding ring since the day of disclosure. I know his selfish act has killed my love for him and I never asked him to stay, he just did. At the time I didn't ask him to leave because I did not want to break up our family of 3 grown sons. I was also scared I may not survive on my own financially. I was in the process of entering nursing training when this happened and now I am almost coming to the end of it. Basically I have put what happened on hold to focus on my training, otherwise I'd have been a very broken and destroyed person and I'm normally very strong. Do what you feel is right and be strong.