anna42

well last christmas founbd out that my ex had an affair .i was devasted and cried and cried told my ex to leave but he refused to saying he loved me and wanted my attention i was shocked to hear him say this i knew wed been busy plus have two beautiful grandchildren but always wanted to do was sit in a kitchen and drink drink and drink listeing to depressing songs and i wanted so much more to go for meals be spolit he was never affectionate really but id felt like i cant give no more to him but owed him one chance to change ,but never did he drunk more and smoked constant even the kids wanted him to sit in room and do family things .he just wanted to talk about the past and things that happened many years ago so i would go to bed because he would keep on and on and i couldnt get through to him that life moves on and we can do lots .in the end hed say im evil and a sinner he told his family this too for atttention because he does come across a gent but hes not he earnt more than me but i payed everything really but was happy if he was happy but i snapped and became bitter after his affair and told him i d never forget and just wanna find me cos i felt ugly and lost /even though hes gone now im still hurting so much my confidence has gone and feel like a loss but i know its rite decision for hiom to go has anybody got any help and advice i dont love him anymore but miss the someone here seems hard facing myself alone .

DawnD

I am sure it is hard being there alone honey. Its never easy, but you can do this. Don't let this crush your confidence in yourself. Look at all the things you do. Look at all the things you are capable of. Call some girlfriends, have a girls night in, have a fun time and don't worry about things that are out of your control. His having an affair was out of your control and you can't change it. Okay, so what now? You want him to move out and get divorced, so if you are certain that is what you want then get the ball rolling. Of course its the holidays and its gonna be hard, but its never easy. Spend time with people that love you and people you love, and find yourself again. It will take time, but you will get there.