This is my story....

ctorres626 · 12-17-2009, 06:58 AM

My wife and i have been married for a year and 3 weeks. im 22 and she is 23, yes i know we are young. i met her when i was stationed in san diego. i'am from chicago. i got out of the military to go to school full time and use my benefits that i had earned. we moved to chicago and have been staying with my parents for the mean time till we go settled in aug.

On novemeber 23, my wife and i had domestic dispute, and it turned into domestic violence, i was arrested that night and during my stay in jail for a day, she left to california where her parents live. im not proud about what happened. im ashamed about the situation and i have been seeking help with therapy. she has also been getting help in california. the problem is obviously she hurt about the situation and we talk everyday and im going to change, i always look back and cant believe something like that happend again. this is the second time this happened the first time i was really drunk. no cops were called or anything. i love her with all my heart and she loves me as well. we are looking to work out our marriage, but she doesnt want to come back to chicago at all, pretty much the only choice i have is to move to san diego. im not to happy about that because we moved everything we had to chicago and im using my benefits here in illinois. what should i do ? should i just give it time apart from my wife, and she if she comes around.... i know that the reason she doesnt want to move back is because she is scared, and will miss her family.... i dont know what to do... any advice ?

p.s i know hitting a women is wrong, believe me its something i regret...

Blanca · 12-17-2009, 07:06 AM

good for you for getting help. what you did was wrong, but we all make mistakes. ive also lost my temper and smashed my H's car with a rock, among other things. so you're not alone in doing something you are ashamed of. the important thing is what you do about it. so good for you.

about moving- personally, i think you should stay in therapy for awhile and wait until you feel you are better. it wont do much good to uproot yourself into an environment you are not comfortable with. You might lose her over it, but i think in the long run it would be better for you to heal in a place you are comfortable, and then try moving. So you might explain it to her like that.

ctorres626 · 12-17-2009, 07:13 AM

true, she asked me yesterday about what do i think if she comes here and helps me move, but it was just a hypothetical question, i told her i already registered for school and everything, but i know its going to take time, i would feel very uncomfortable living in california again, and dealing with her parents is something im not prepared to do at the moment, im hurting alot and find myself just not doing anything and thinking about the situation...