Maintaining a happy and healthy marriage is a lot of work and it is definitely not meant to be a one-sided effort. Marriage is a partnership and a compromise where both parties have to make an equal effort in order for things to work. If you want your marriage to succeed, there are certain things you should be saying to your spouse each and every day.
“I Believe in You”
Most people struggle with self-doubt to some degree but it takes different forms in men and women. For women, self-doubt is often paired with self-esteem or confidence issues, particularly in regards to physical appearance. Men want to know that their wives are proud of them and that they are fulfilling their role as husband. The act of telling your spouse that you believe in them can give your spouse a boost of confidence that will help them to start believing in themselves as well. “I Trust You”
Trust is incredibly important in any relationship, especially a marriage. In a marriage you have to trust that your partner will uphold their wedding vows, choosing to love you and stay with you through all things. All marriages experience their ups and downs but having a bond of trust will give you the confidence to know that you can work through the hard times. Marriage is a coming together of two individuals so it should go without saying that you and your spouse will not always be in agreement. Even when you argue or have differing opinions about something, however, you should still have the confidence to know that your spouse trusts your judgement and trusts that you will always do what is best for the marriage. “I Appreciate You”
One of the biggest insecurities men have is that they are not enough – not strong enough, not successful enough, not desirable enough. For women, one of the biggest insecurities is wondering whether they are too much – that they are too bossy, too busy, too unattractive, too high-maintenance. The act of simply telling your spouse that you appreciate them can go a long way in dispelling these insecurities. You do not even always have to use words to tell your spouse that you appreciate them – simple acts of service like doing a chore without being reminded or giving a thoughtful gift can show your spouse how much you value them. “I Want You”
Passion, romance, and intimacy are very important in a marriage, of course, but there is also the fact that everyone wants to know that they are desirable. Keeping the fire alive in your marriage may be as simple as making sure that your spouse knows that you still want them. You can go so far as to actually tell them, or you can show them in little ways such as physical displays of affection, telling them they look good, or setting aside time to be together. “I Love You”
The absolute most important thing your spouse needs to hear each and every day is that you love them. What many people learn after they get married is that love is not always a feeling – it is also a choice. A choice to remain together and faithful to one another for the rest of your lives. A choice to love one another even in the difficult times when you do not particularly like each other. If you aren’t used to saying this to your spouse every day, try to make it habit – say “I love you” before you hang up the phone, before you leave for work in the morning, and before you go to bed at night.
Simply saying these five phrases to your spouse every day is not enough to maintain a healthy marriage – you have to actually mean them. This may take a little bit of work and it may also take some time but you will find that once you and your spouse deepen your love and respect for one another, your marriage will be much better for it.
~ Glen Community Support