Re: Separate Vacations?
My marriage of over 20 years was punctuated by many separate vacations, as my ex was involved in many high risk sporting activities that scared me to death. I tried to accompany him, but not participate in the risk activity (example, went with him to ski resort, spent the day exploring the town, getting a massage, then meeting him for lunch and doing evening activities together). I thought I was being a caring, understanding wife, letting him have the freedom to enjoy his risky activities, without insisting that he either give them up, or tone them down to a level I could enjoy.
Eventually, these constant separate vacations, led to separate lives, and we became complete strangers to each other. I was heartbroken when he started having numerous affairs with women who supposedly shared in his interests (although there were a few accidents involved because one of his mistresses were unskilled in his endeavors -- ) I was heart broken when he divorced me for an aggressive masculine woman who supposedly enjoyed his sports (although her lack of skills nearly got him killed and he had to be helicopter rescued) In retrospect, I lost NOTHING, as we hardly provided companionship together.
I am now engaged to a WONDERFUL man, who wants to spend ALL his time with me. We take weekend trips and long romantic vacations together. It feels so GREAT to be with a man who WANTS to spend his time with me. Except for the occasional girls weekend with a large group of my girlfriends (which he is OK with) we do EVERYTHING together and I am so much happier !!!!!! I even managed to turn the last request for a girls weekend into a couples weekend. We spend most of the time together as a group, although one afternoon the guys went off hiking, and we girls made a fabulous dinner that we all enjoyed that night.
I used to support the idea of separate vacations, as just a healthy way for couples to give each other some space, but now after my sad experience, I could not go back to that as a way of life. Occasional weekends with same sex friends OK, as long as they are few and far between, but I am marrying the man of my dreams, and I want to share all my vacations adventures with HIM.